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Let these funny Switches Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
When a man you like switches from what
he said a year ago, or four years ago,
he is a broad-minded person who has courage enough
to change his mind with changing conditions.
When a man you don't like does it,
he is a liar who has broken his promise.
- Franklin Pierce Adams
Well, it seems to me that the best relationships -
the ones that last -
are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship.
You know, one day you look at the person
and you see something more than you did the night before.
Like a switch has been flicked somewhere.
And the person who was just a friend is...
suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.
- Dana Scully
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer
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Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder
You may as well laugh at life,
because it's certainly laughing at you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The length of this document defends it well
against the risk of its being read.
- Winston Churchill
What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A well-developed sense of humor
is the pole that adds balance to your steps,
as you walk the tightrope of life.
- William Arthur Ward
Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The simplification of life is one of the steps to inner peace.
A persistent simplification will create an inner and outer well-being
that places harmony in one's life.
- Peace Pilgrim
Live Well, Love Much, Laugh Often.
- Anonymous
Treat the earth well.
It was not given to you by your parents,
it was loaned to you by your children.
We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors,
we borrow it from our Children.
- Native American traditional
Life is a dangerous - ultimately fatal - endeavor,
so you may as well live it full out.
Chart your course, cast off the lines,
and boldly sail the seas of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Hatred is blind, as well as love.
- Oscar Wilde
Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor
Being angry harms your physical,
emotional, and spiritual well-being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never trust a man who speaks well of everybody
- John Churton Collins
Hold on... Joyfully.
Holding-on does not have to be
a desperate teeth-gritting kind of holding-on.
Holding-on can be a joyful
"this is just the nature of Life,
so I may as well enjoy it"
kind of holding-on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Imagine for yourself a character,
a model personality whose example you determine to follow,
in private as well as in public.
- Epictetus
Well-behaved women seldom make history.
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Those who can win a war well can rarely make a good peace
and those who could make a good peace
would never have won the war.
- Winston Churchill
You are defined by your habits - choose well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Well-being is making its way to you at all times.
If you will relax and find a way to allow it,
it will be your experience.
- Abraham (Esther Hicks)
Whenever the people are well-informed,
they can be trusted with their own government.
- Thomas Jefferson
If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller
He's my friend that speaks well of me behind my back.
- Thomas Fuller
Art for art's sake is a philosophy of the well-fed.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
A man should do his job so well that the living,
the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Appreciation is a wonderful thing.
It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.
- Voltaire
Good men must not obey the laws too well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is better to travel well than to arrive.
- The Buddha
Every actual State is corrupt.
Good men must not obey laws too well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you can't explain it simply,
you don't understand it well enough.
- Albert Einstein
For a people who are free, and who mean to remain so,
a well-organized and armed militia is their best security.
- Thomas Jefferson
We are not to give credit to the many,
who say that none ought to be educated but the free;
but rather to the philosophers,
who say that the well-educated alone are free.
- Epictetus
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread.
- John Muir
As a well-spent day brings happy sleep,
so a life well spent brings happy death.
- Leonardo da Vinci
If you want something to be different than it is,
you might as well teach a cat to bark.
Wanting something to be different than it is, is hopeless.
- Byron Katie
That some achieve great success,
is proof to all that others can achieve it as well.
- Abraham Lincoln
Rights that do not flow from duty
well performed are not worth having.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Well done is better than well said.
- Benjamin Franklin
What is once well done is done forever.
- Henry David Thoreau
The more we care for the happiness of others,
the greater is our own sense of well-being.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Is it not enough to know the evil to shun it?
If not, we should be sincere enough to admit
that we love evil too well to give it up.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Your point of view sets you up well in advance
for how you view the events as they unfold.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
- Dave Barry
I was losing interest in politics,
when the repeal of the Missouri Compromise aroused me again.
What I have done since then is pretty well known.
- Abraham Lincoln
Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength
which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there.
- Marcus Aurelius
Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.
- Henry David Thoreau
It is well to remember that the
entire population of the universe,
with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
- Andrew J. Holmes
When the well's dry, we know the worth of water.
- Benjamin Franklin
Have the will to be well, to be happy, and to live in joy.
- Ernest Holmes
Well, when you come down to it,
I don't see that a reporter could do much to a president, do you?
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Treat the earth well,
It was not given to you by your parents,
It was loaned to you by your children.
- Native American Proverb
I distrust those people who know so well
what God wants them to do,
because I notice it always coincides
with their own desires.
- Susan B. Anthony
Nothing is ever going to work out the way you want,
so you may as well choose to want the way life does work out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread,
places to play in and pray in,
where nature may heal and cheer
and give strength to the body and soul.
- John Muir
Doing well is the result of doing good.
That's what capitalism is all about.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Learn to do common things uncommonly well;
we must always keep in mind that anything
that helps fill the dinner pail is valuable.
- George Washington Carver
Always aim at complete harmony
of thought and word and deed.
Always aim at purifying your thoughts
and everything will be well.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.