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Let these funny Frequently Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
In those days he was wiser than he is now;
he used to frequently take my advice.
- Winston Churchill
Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge:
it is those who know little, and not those who know much,
who so positively assert that this or that problem
will never be solved by science.
- Charles Darwin
No persons are more frequently wrong,
than those who will not admit they are wrong.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
I advocate speaking words of love
with all the sincerity that can be mustered,
as frequently as possible.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
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Well, it seems to me that the best relationships -
the ones that last -
are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship.
You know, one day you look at the person
and you see something more than you did the night before.
Like a switch has been flicked somewhere.
And the person who was just a friend is...
suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.
- Dana Scully
I have frequently been questioned, especially by women,
of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career.
Well, it has not been easy.
- Marie Curie
Probably the happiest period in life
most frequently is in middle age,
when the eager passions of youth are cooled,
and the infirmities of age not yet begun;
as we see that the shadows,
which are at morning and evening so large,
almost entirely disappear at midday.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions,
but laws and institutions must go hand in hand
with the progress of the human mind.
As that becomes more developed, more enlightened,
as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered
and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances,
institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times.
- Thomas Jefferson [inscribed in the Jefferson Memorial]
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus
It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.