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Let these funny Portals Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
- James Joyce
A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde
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The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder
Freedom is not worth having if it
does not connote freedom to err.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
My heroes are the ones who survived doing it wrong,
who made mistakes, but recovered from them.
- Bono
Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also.
- Carl Jung
To err is human, to forgive divine.
- Alexander Pope
I claim to be a simple individual liable
to err like any other fellow mortal.
I own, however, that I have humility enough
to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom.
It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest
might weaken and the wisest might err.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Success seems to be connected with action.
Successful people keep moving.
They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton
Mistakes are, after all, the foundations of truth,
and if a man does not know what a thing is,
it is at least an increase in knowledge
if he knows what it is not.
- Carl Jung
Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons.
Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.
- Cherie-Carter Scotts
There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth;
not going all the way, and not starting.
- The Buddha
I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control
and at times hard to handle.
But if you can't handle me at my worst,
then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
- Marilyn Monroe
Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition.
The immature mind often mistakes one for the other,
or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy -
in fact, they're almost incompatible;
one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.
Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil.
- Robert Heinlein
When you find your path, you must not be afraid.
You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes.
Disappointment, defeat, and despair are
the tools God uses to show us the way.
- Paulo Coelho
You know, everybody makes mistakes when they are president.
- William J. Clinton
Achievement seems to be connected with action.
Successful men and women keep moving.
They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton
I've learned that mistakes can often be
as good a teacher as success.
- Jack Welch
It's okay to make mistakes.
Mistakes are our teachers - they help us to learn.
- John Bradshaw
There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth
- not going all the way and not starting.
- The Buddha
Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself,
and know that everything in life has purpose.
There are no mistakes, no coincidences,
all events are blessings given to us to learn from.
- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
Trust:
Perhaps you trust your doctor,
your lawyer, your boss - perhaps not.
Perhaps you trust in a "Higher Power" - perhaps you don't.
Trust is something that we become aware of in unusual situations,
such as a once-in-a-lifetime ride on a zip-line,
but most of the time, we become oblivious
to the trust we have, or don't have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Many of us have been conditioned to trust others' opinions
more than our own, and I believe that sort of trust is excessive.
This is especially true with regard to authority figures -
doctors, lawyers, priests. I trust my doctor's intentions toward me,
but I don't blindly follow his suggestions
without checking other sources also.
He was trained to prescribe a pill for everything,
and does it with the best of intentions,
but I often choose to trust God's quiet voice inside me
rather than my doctor's medical advice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I wanted to be a doctor that I might be able to work
without having to talk
because for years I had been giving myself out in words.
- Albert Schweitzer
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.