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Funny Physician Quotes
Funny Quotes about Physician

Let these funny Physician Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the
physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink
his remedy in silence and tranquility.
- Khalil Gibran

A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Do what you love.
Know your own bone;
gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it,
and gnaw it still.
- Henry David Thoreau


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Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery
in which to bury the faults of his friends.
- Henry Brooks Adams

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death


 

Trust:
Perhaps you trust your doctor,
your lawyer, your boss - perhaps not.
Perhaps you trust in a "Higher Power" - perhaps you don't.
Trust is something that we become aware of in unusual situations,
such as a once-in-a-lifetime ride on a zip-line,
but most of the time, we become oblivious
to the trust we have, or don't have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I wanted to be a doctor that I might be able to work
without having to talk
because for years I had been giving myself out in words.
- Albert Schweitzer

Many of us have been conditioned to trust others' opinions
more than our own, and I believe that sort of trust is excessive.
This is especially true with regard to authority figures -
doctors, lawyers, priests. I trust my doctor's intentions toward me,
but I don't blindly follow his suggestions
without checking other sources also.
He was trained to prescribe a pill for everything,
and does it with the best of intentions,
but I often choose to trust God's quiet voice inside me
rather than my doctor's medical advice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Gossip and complaint are the underbelly of low conversation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted,
every hill and mountain shall be made low,
the rough places will be made straight
and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed
and all flesh shall see it together.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Religion is more than life. Remember that his own religion
is the truest to every man even if it stands low
in the scales of philosophical comparison.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

What a book a devil's chaplain might write
on the clumsy, wasteful, blundering, low,
and horribly cruel work of nature!
- Charles Darwin

Knowledge is happiness, because to have knowledge -
broad, deep knowledge - is to know true ends from false,
and lofty things from low.
- Helen Keller

As she passed among the hungry and the dejected,
delivering the rations and water,
she chanted in a low whisper,
"the spark of the mind - the sparkle of the soul" ...
"the spark of the mind - the sparkle of the soul" ...
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

While it is natural to feel some degree of
need for the approval of others, be careful.
If you find yourself unwilling to
take actions that others disapprove of,
you have lost control of your own life
and have given your destiny to others.
An excessive need-for-approval
is a sign of low self-esteem,
and in severe cases, a condition termed co-dependency.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A man's pride shall bring him low,
but honor shall uphold the humble in spirit.
- Proverbs 29:23

Never cease loving a person, and never give up hope for him,
for even the prodigal son who had fallen most low,
could still be saved; the bitterest enemy
and also he who was your friend could again be your friend;
love that has grown cold can kindle
- Soren Kierkegaard

Gossip is the art of saying nothing
in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
- Walter Winchell

How does so much gossip fit in such small minds?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Gossip is the opiate of the oppressed.
- Erica Jong

The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry

Apathy, indifference, not caring...
It may sound insensitive for me to say, "I don't care,"
but ask first to what I am indifferent.
I choose to be caring, compassionate
and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

To a philosopher all news,
as it is called, is gossip,
and they who edit and read it
are old women over their tea.
- Henry David Thoreau

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed
to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers

The whole world can gossip about you,
and if you don't take it personally you are immune.
- don Miguel Ruiz

It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
- the Woody Allen movie Manhattan (1979)

Don't complain, don't whine, and don't gossip.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Men have always detested women's gossip
because they suspect the truth:
their measurements are being taken and compared.
- Erica Jong

While you can and should keep your composure and happiness
regardless of circumstances - regardless of your friends,
family and co-workers - regardless of gossip, sarcasm, and negativity.
Nonetheless, life is much easier and more pleasant
when you spend as much time as possible
in the company of enthusiastic positive people -
not necessarily those who agree with you,
but those who respect your right to your point of view.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be Impeccable With Your Word.
Speak with integrity.
Say only what you mean.
Avoid using your word to speak against yourself
or to gossip about others.
Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz

I choose to be caring, compassionate and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Love isn't an emotion or an instinct - it's an art.
- Mae West

People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie"
until you can find a rock.
- Will Rogers

The art of acceptance is the art of making someone
who has just done you a small favor
wish that he might have done you a greater one.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity
in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.
- Albert Einstein

The sculptor produces the beautiful statue
by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed -
it is a process of elimination.
- Elbert Hubbard

Courage is the art of being the only one
who knows you're scared to death.
- Earl Wilson

The whole art of teaching is only the art
of awakening the natural curiosity
of young minds for the purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
- Anatole France

Your life is the manifestation of your dream;
it is an art.
You can change your life anytime if
you aren't enjoying the dream.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Besides the noble art of getting things done,
there is the noble art of leaving things undone.
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.
- Lin Yutang

Tell me what company thou keepst,
and I'll tell thee what thou art.
- Miguel de Cervantes

Be slow to fall into friendship;
but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.
- Socrates

In a relationship, when does the art of compromise become compromising?
- Sarah Jessica Parker

Like music and art, love of nature is a common language
that can transcend political or social boundaries.
- Jimmy Carter

Take time today to appreciate beauty -
natural beauty, art, people.
Slow down, breathe deeply, smile.
It's a beautiful world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The supreme art of war is
to subdue the enemy without fighting.
- Sun Tzu

Art for art's sake is a philosophy of the well-fed.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Motivation is the art of getting people to do
what you want them to do because they want to do it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Parents are usually more careful to bestow knowledge
on their children rather than virtue,
the art of speaking well rather than doing well;
but their manners should be of the greatest concern.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

The difference between men friends and women friends
is that men tend to do things together,
women tend to just be together.
- Art Jahnke

Things turn out best for the people
who make the best of the way things turn out.
- Art Linkletter

It is curious to observe what different
ideals of happiness people cherish,
and in what singular places they look
for this well-spring of their life.
Many look for it in the hoarding of riches,
some in the pride of power,
and others in the achievements of art and literature;
a few seek it in the exploration of their own minds,
or in search for knowledge.
- Helen Keller

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
It is the source of all true art and all science.
He to whom this emotion is a stranger,
who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.
- Elie Wiesel

Just smiling goes a long way toward
making you feel better about life.
And when you feel better about life, your life is better.
- Art Linkletter

If being an egomaniac means I believe
in what I do and in my art or my music,
then in that respect you can call me that.
I believe in what I do, and I'll say it.
- John Lennon

Beyond mind, there is an awareness that is intrinsic,
that is not given to you by the outside, and is not an idea -
and there is no experiment up to now
that has found any center in the brain
which corresponds to awareness.
The whole work of meditation is
to make you aware of all that is "mind"
and disidentify yourself from it.
That very separation is the
greatest revolution that can happen to man.
Now you can do and act on only that
which makes you more joyous, fulfills you,
gives you contentment, makes your life a work of art, a beauty.
But this is possible only if the master in you is awake.
- Osho

It is the function of art to renew our perception.
What we are familiar with we cease to see.
The writer shakes up the familiar scene,
and, as if by magic, we see a new meaning in it.
- Anais Nin

Art is never finished, only abandoned.
- Leonardo da Vinci


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.