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Let these funny Advise Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson
In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
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I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.
- Albert Einstein
It is a wonderful advantage to a man,
in every pursuit or avocation,
to secure an adviser in a sensible woman.
In woman there is at once a subtle delicacy of tact,
and a plain soundness of judgement,
which are rarely combined to an equal degree in man.
A woman, if she be really your friend,
will have a sensitive regard for your character, honor, repute.
She will seldom counsel you to do a shabby thing:
for a woman friend always desires to be proud of you.
- Edward Bulwer-Lytton
Where large sums of money are concerned,
it is advisable to trust nobody.
- Agatha Christie
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Everyone who got where he is,
had to begin where he was.
- Richard L. Evans
The jump is so frightening
between where I am,
and where I want to be.
Because of all I may become,
I will close my eyes and leap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
Where there's a will, there's a way.
- old English proverb
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Lord, where we are wrong,
make us willing to change;
where we are right,
make us easy to live with.
- Peter Marshall
Where there is no accusation of "fault,"
there can be no anger.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha
If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)
Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The ache for home lives in all of us,
the safe place where we can
go as we are and not be questioned.
- Maya Angelou
Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott
You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie
Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather
Who never walks save where he sees
men's tracks, makes no discoveries.
- J. G. Holland
Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.
- Jonas Salk
Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain
None of us got where we are solely by
pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps.
- Thurgood Marshall
Give a boy address and accomplishments
and you give him the mastery
of palaces and fortunes where he goes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank
Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.
- Oprah Winfrey
I was born on the prairies where the wind blew free
and there was nothing to break the light of the sun.
I was born where there were no enclosures.
- Geronimo
Life is a process of becoming,
a combination of states we have to go through.
Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state
and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
- Anais Nin
Where there is no emotion,
there is no motive for violence.
- the character Spock in the Star Trek television series
The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach
Joy blooms where minds and hearts are open.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Your sacred space is where you can
find yourself again and again.
- Joseph Campbell
Where are you going? Where does your path lead?
You can never know the future, yet wandering aimlessly
is unlikely to be the source of a fulfilling life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have a dream that my four little children will one day
live in a nation where they will
not be judged by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I want it said of me by those who knew me best,
that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower
where I thought a flower would grow.
- Abraham Lincoln
How often I found where I should be going
only by setting out for somewhere else.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
You are today where your thoughts have brought.
- James Allen
Where love is, there God is also.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands
in moments of comfort and convenience,
but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Die when I may, I want it said by those who knew me best
that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower
where I thought a flower would grow.
- Abraham Lincoln
Where there is an observatory and a telescope,
we expect that any eyes will see new worlds at once.
- Henry David Thoreau
Find a place inside where there's joy,
and the joy will burn out the pain.
- Joseph Campbell
The will of God will never take you
to where the grace of God will not protect you.
- Anonymous
Greatness is not in where we stand,
but in what direction we are moving.
We must sail sometimes with the wind
and sometimes against it -
but sail we must,
and not drift, nor lie at anchor.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
What we call the beginning is often the end.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from.
- T. S. Eliot
Could we see when and where we are to meet again,
we would be more tender when we bid our friends goodbye.
- Ouida
Little do men perceive what solitude is,
and how far it extendeth.
For a crowd is not company,
and faces are but a gallery of pictures,
and talk but a tinkling cymbal,
where there is no love.
- Francis Bacon
Where ignorance is our master,
there is no possibility of real peace.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Where there is unconditional love,
there is no room for unhappiness.
Whenever I look in the mirror today,
I will say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman
in the midst of this world,
where each person is clinging to his piece of debris?
What's the proper salutation between people
as they pass each other in this flood?
- The Buddha
If you have built castles in the air,
your work need not be lost;
that is where they should be.
Now put foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Where there is love there is no question.
- Albert Einstein
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread,
places to play in and pray in,
where nature may heal and cheer
and give strength to the body and soul.
- John Muir
Follow your bliss and doors will open
where there were no doors before.
- Joseph Campbell
A democracy is nothing more than mob rule,
where fifty-one percent of the people
may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.
- attributed to Thomas Jefferson
Do what you can,
with what you have,
where you are.
- Theodore Roosevelt
Where words fail, music speaks.
- Hans Christian Andersen
The world turns aside to let any man pass
who knows where he is going.
- Epictetus
If you do not change direction,
you may end up where you are heading.
- Lao Tzu
You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra
Another day, another dollar, another war, another tower
Went up where the homeless had their home.
- Jewel
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.