Funny Politics Quotes - Funny Quotes about Politics

Funny Politics Quotes
Funny Quotes about Politics

Let these funny Politics Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain

Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.
- John F. Kennedy

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed
(and hence clamorous to be led to safety)
by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins,
all of them imaginary.
- H. L. Mencken

Those who say religion has nothing to do with politics
do not know what religion is.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

In war, you can only be killed once,
but in politics, many times.
- Winston Churchill

I'm always rather nervous about how you talk
about women who are active in politics,
whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians.
- John F. Kennedy

When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Politics are very much like war.
We may even have to use poison gas at times.
- Winston Churchill

I am never going to have anything more to do
with politics or politicians.
When this war is over I shall confine myself entirely
to writing and painting.
- Winston Churchill

Politics is a profession; a serious, complicated and,
in its true sense, a noble one.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I was losing interest in politics,
when the repeal of the Missouri Compromise aroused me again.
What I have done since then is pretty well known.
- Abraham Lincoln

Politics ought to be the part-time profession of every citizen
who would protect the rights and privileges of free people
and who would preserve what is
good and fruitful in our national heritage.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Cowardice asks the question - is it safe?
Expediency asks the question - is it politic?
Vanity asks the question - is it popular?
But conscience asks the question - is it right?
And there comes a time when one must take a position
that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular;
but one must take it BECAUSE it is right.
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

Although prepared for martyrdom,
I preferred that it be postponed.
- Winston Churchill

The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation

The inherent vice of capitalism
is the unequal sharing of blessings;
the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
- Winston Churchill

God has cared for these trees,
saved them from drought, disease, avalanches,
and a thousand tempests and floods.
But he cannot save them from fools.
- John Muir

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

It is dangerous to be right in matters
on which the established authorities are wrong.
- Voltaire

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

I tremble for my country when I reflect that God
is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever.
- Thomas Jefferson

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy

Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow

Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

A lot of presidential memoirs, they say, are dull and self-serving.
I hope mine is interesting and self-serving.
- William J. Clinton

Speeches that are measured by the hour
will die with the hour.
- Thomas Jefferson

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job:
it's a depression when you lose yours.
- Harry S. Truman

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

The best argument against democracy is
a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill

By giving us the opinions of the uneducated,
journalism keeps us in touch
with the ignorance of the community.
- Oscar Wilde

What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

Suppose you were an idiot,
and suppose you were a member of Congress;
but I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.
- Albert Einstein

I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie"
until you can find a rock.
- Will Rogers

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy

I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people
by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde

These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert,
to fleece the people.
- Abraham Lincoln

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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Funny Politics Quotes
Funny Quotes about Politics