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Let these funny Manipulate Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Blessed is he who has learned to admire but not envy,
to follow but not imitate, to praise but not flatter,
and to lead but not manipulate.
- William Arthur Ward
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves
for they shall never cease to be amused.
- Anonymous
Like a Rose, I Thrive -
Blessed With Both My Thorns and My Blooms.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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Stop asking God to bless what you're doing.
Get involved in what God is doing -
because it's already blessed.
- Bono
Repressed anger still is anger, it just isn't expressed.
If you truly have no anger, you are blessed and joyful.
If you have repressed anger, know that you have anger,
you just haven't expressed that anger.
Go ahead, express your anger briefly,
pound pillows, scream, curse.
Then take a deep breath, and get over it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If I choose to bless another person,
I will always end up feeling more blessed.
- Marianne Williamson
Blessed is he who expects nothing,
for he shall never be disappointed.
- Alexander Pope
That I was born to this circle - I am blessed.
That I choose to stand in this circle - I am proud.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Let children walk with Nature,
let them see the beautiful blendings
and communions of death and life,
their joyous inseparable unity,
as taught in woods and meadows,
plains and mountains and streams
of our blessed star,
and they will learn that death
is stingless indeed,
and as beautiful as life.
- John Muir
I take every opportunity to articulate to others
the ways that they have blessed and influenced me.
I hold sweet memories of making the opportunity
to thank teachers who have influenced me.
I encourage everyone to seize opportunities
to tell people who have made a gift of knowledge or influence.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend,
one human soul whom we can trust utterly,
who knows the best and worst of us,
and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
- Charles Kingsley
When you are tempted to judge,
may you be reminded that we are ALL ONE,
and that every thought you think reverberates
across the universe touching everyone and everything.
- from the Simple Truths movie May You Be Blessed
In many ways, it is easier to be a good giver than a good receiver.
The giver chooses the gift and the timing.
More important, societal and religious traditions
tend to elevate the status of giver and lower the status of receiver.
When the Bible (Acts 20:32-35) speaks of it being
more blessed to give than to receive,
I believe that a better translation might be
"take" rather than "receive," as the context
of that passage is "coveting."
Certainly there is nothing blessed about coveting,
stealing, begging, or demanding,
however the skill of graciously receiving a freely offered gift
is another matter entirely.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Suppose our gratitude could be zero-based gratitude.
With zero-based gratitude,
we would be grateful for everything we had each day -
regardless of whether it was more or less than yesterday.
With zero-based gratitude, I can be grateful for all the people,
the love, the food, the shelter, the services,
the health, that I am blessed with today,
regardless of what I had yesterday.
With zero-based gratitude,
I can be grateful each day for the gift of life itself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.