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Funny Evidence Quotes
Funny Quotes about Evidence

Let these funny Evidence Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

The believing mind is eternally impervious to evidence.
- H. L. Mencken

It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell

FEAR is an acronym in the English language
for "False Evidence Appearing Real."
- Neale Donald Walsch


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FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Don't join the book burners.
Do not think you are going to conceal thoughts
by concealing evidence that they ever existed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Don't think you are going to conceal thoughts
by concealing evidence that they ever existed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower


 

The new rage is to say that the government
is the cause of all our problems,
and if only we had no government, we'd have no problems.
I can tell you, that contradicts
evidence, history, and common sense.
- William J. Clinton

Everywhere I look, I see the evidence of a creator.
But I don't see it as religion,
which has cut Irish people in two.
I don't see Jesus Christ as being
in any part of a religion.
Religion to me is almost like when God leaves -
and people devise a set of rules to fill the space.
- Bono

False facts are highly injurious to the progress of science,
for they often endure long; but false views,
if supported by some evidence, do little harm,
for every one takes a salutary pleasure in proving their falseness.
- Charles Darwin

Truth is by nature self-evident.
As soon as you remove the cobwebs of ignorance
that surround it, it shines clear.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

All truth passes through three stages:
First, it is ridiculed;
Second, it is violently opposed;
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

We hold these truths to be self-evident:
that all men are created equal;
that they are endowed by their Creator
with certain unalienable rights;
that among these are life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness.
- Thomas Jefferson

Truth always rests with the minority,
and the minority is always stronger than the majority,
because the minority is generally formed by those
who really have an opinion,
while the strength of a majority is illusory,
formed by the gangs who have no opinion -
and who, therefore, in the next instant
(when it is evident that the minority is the stronger)
assume its opinion... while truth again reverts to a new minority.
- Soren Kierkegaard

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

Truth is a tendency.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain

Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
- Will Rogers

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

The rarest quality in an epitaph is truth.
- Henry David Thoreau

Truth is stranger than fiction,
but that is because Fiction is obliged
to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
- Mark Twain

If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

If you are out to describe the truth,
leave elegance to the tailor.
- Albert Einstein

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin

Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.
- Stephanie Klein

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

My way of joking is telling the truth;
that is the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks

The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling

The words of truth are always paradoxical.
- Lao Tzu

The water in a vessel is sparkling;
the water in the sea is dark.
The small truth has words which are clear;
the great truth has great silence.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde

Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz

When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw

We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Our actions are constrained by fear of reprisal,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We take refuge in pride,
because we are afraid to tell the truth to ourselves.
- Kakuzo Okakura

Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
- Harry S. Truman

Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Truth is absolute, but only to one person.
My truth is absolute to me, and your truth is absolute to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau

When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
- Khalil Gibran

The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge
and the dissemination of truth.
- John F. Kennedy

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison

There are trivial truths and there are great truths.
The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
- Niels Bohr

About most subjects, there is not "The Truth;"
there is merely one's personal truth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

ANYONE may become a revealer of Truth
who lives in close contact with the indwelling God.
- Ernest Holmes

All perception of truth
is the detection of an analogy;
we reason from our hands to our head.
- Henry David Thoreau

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth;
not going all the way, and not starting.
- The Buddha

All the religions of the world,
while they may differ in other respects,
unitedly proclaim that nothing lives in this world but Truth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Truth is handsomer than the affectation of love.
Your goodness must have some edge to it, else it is none.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fiction reveals truth that reality obscures.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

In wartime, truth is so precious that she
should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies.
- Winston Churchill

If you have found your truth within yourself
there is nothing more in this whole existence to find.
- Osho

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact.
Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
- Marcus Aurelius

We must be ready to learn from one another,
not claiming that we alone possess all truth
and that somehow we have a corner on God.
- Archbishop Desmond Tutu

An error does not become truth
by reason of multiplied propagation,
nor does truth become error because nobody sees it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

We occasionally stumble over the truth
but most of us pick ourselves up and
hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill

Above all, don't lie to yourself.
The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie
comes to a point that he cannot
distinguish the truth within him, or around him,
and so loses all respect for himself and for others.
- Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Doubt is the vestibule which we all must pass through
before we can enter the temple of truth.
- Osho

The truth is a snare:
you cannot have it, without being caught.
You cannot have the truth
in such a way that you catch it,
but only in such a way that it catches you.
- Soren Kierkegaard

There is no truth, only human opinion.
- Anonymous

Love is like the truth,
sometimes it prevails,
sometimes it hurts.
- Victor M. Garcia Jr.


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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