Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Lures Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe,
that lures him to evil ways.
- The Buddha
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand 
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Thank you for visiting: Funny Lures Quotes - Funny Quotes about Lures.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.