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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Foe Quotes
Funny Quotes about Foe

Let these funny Foe Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

When I hear music, I fear no danger.
I am invulnerable. I see no foe.
I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest.
- Henry David Thoreau

It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe,
that lures him to evil ways.
- The Buddha

Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill,
that we shall pay any price, bear any burden,
meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe
to assure the survival and the success of liberty.
- John F. Kennedy

Let the word go forth from this time and place,
to friend and foe alike,
that the torch has been passed
to a new generation of Americans -
born in this century, tempered by war,
disciplined by a hard and bitter peace.
- John F. Kennedy


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An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.
- Thomas Jefferson

Judgment and weariness are foes to service and generosity.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

We are injured and hurt emotionally,
not so much by other people
or what they say and don't say,
but by our own attitude and our own response.
- Maxwell Maltz


 

Forgive those who have injured you -
not because they deserve your forgiveness,
but because you can never be happy
until you release your anger and grant forgiveness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One who is injured ought not to return the injury,
for on no account can it be right to do an injustice;
and it is not right to return an injury,
or to do evil to any man,
however much we have suffered from him.
- Socrates

All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz

Nobody can hurt me without my permission.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
- Satchel Paige

Oh yes, the past can hurt.
But, you can either run from it or, learn from it.
- the movie The Lion King

Sing like no one's listening,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like nobody's watching,
and live like its heaven on earth.
- Mark Twain

Our prime purpose in this life is to help others.
And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

I unconditionally forgive everyone for all hurt
that I have ever experienced in the presence of their actions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love the heart that hurts you,
but never hurt the heart that loves you.
- Vipin Sharma

You hurt because you're alive.
- the 2010 movie Charlie St. Cloud

Love comes to those who still hope
even though they've been disappointed,
to those who still believe
even though they've been betrayed,
to those who still love
even though they've been hurt before.
- Anonymous

Only Americans can hurt America.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I have found the paradox,
that if you love until it hurts,
there can be no more hurt, only more love.
- Mother Teresa

Love like you've never been hurt,
dance like no one is watching,
live as though heaven is on earth.
- Satchel Paige

Dance like no one is watching,
love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like no one is listening.
Live life like it's heaven on earth.
- Anonymous (various attributions and alternate phrasings)

The secret of success is to find a need and fill it,
to find a hurt and heal it,
to find somebody with a problem
and offer to help solve it.
- Robert H. Schuller

Let me say this as clearly as I can:
No matter how sharp a grievance or how deep a hurt,
there is no justification for killing innocents.
- William J. Clinton

If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone,
your heart is telling you that you have
not resolved your issues with them.
In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person.
All of this begs the question, how do we forgive?
First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories
about why you behave the way you do.
Stop blaming your behavior on other people
and take responsibility for your emotional reactions.
If you could forgive all the people in your life
who have hurt or wounded you
it would be possible to be in control of your behavior
instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time.
Imagine living life without experiencing
a constant emotional roller-coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy!
That would be bliss!
- Sheri Rosenthal

I unconditionally forgive everyone for all hurt
that I have ever experienced in the presence of their actions.
I unconditionally forgive myself for everything that I have ever done,
said, or thought that has caused me harm or suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What has happened at Guantanamo Bay...
does not represent the will of the American people.
I'm embarrassed about it, I think its wrong.
I think it does give terrorists an unwarranted excuse
to use the despicable means to hurt innocent people.
- Jimmy Carter

I know how hard it is in these times to have faith.
But maybe if you could have the faith to start with,
maybe the times would change.
You could change them. Think about it. Try.
And try not to hurt each other.
- the movie Oh, God!

My coat and I live comfortably together.
It has assumed all my wrinkles, does not hurt me anywhere,
has moulded itself on my deformities,
and is complacent to all my movements,
and I only feel its presence because it keeps me warm.
Old coats and old friends are the same thing.
- Victor Hugo

Life is magnificent - just as it comes.
Life has no need for fancy clothes, or lipstick.
Life is no pig.
Our life is the greatest gift of all creation.
When we are unhappy with life -
when we are shocked by the stock market,
or dismayed by our choice of political candidates,
let us not lash out in anger.
But also, let us not try to pretty up life
with some lipstick and some party clothes.
See life clearly - no rose colored glasses -
and then CHOOSE to love life.
CHOOSE to be happy, be joyful, be grateful,
be forgiving of everyone and of every act
we believe has hurt us.
Life just "IS."
We get to CHOOSE our relationship with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Forgiveness is the salve that heals
the wounds of unkind words and acts.
Forgive everyone for every hurt you have ever received -
for your own sake, that you may live in peace.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but words will never hurt me.
- schoolyard rhyme

Most of us believe that we have
been betrayed by someone outside of us -
in other words someone has done something to hurt us,
been dishonest or broken a promise made:
some trust in some concept was broken.
Indeed someone may have taken an action
that took only their needs into consideration,
they may have not followed through on a promise made,
and they may have not told you the truth.
But their actions have nothing to do with you
and have everything to do with them.
That's why no one can do anything TO you.
They can take actions that involve you that you may not like -
according to your point of view.
But you are not a victim, no way, no how.
- Sheri Rosenthal

A woman is the only thing I am afraid of
that I know will not hurt me.
- Abraham Lincoln

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point

If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer

Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.