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Let these funny Hire Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Do not hire a man who does your work for money,
but him who does it for love of it.
- Henry David Thoreau
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
There is nobody in this country who got rich on their own. Nobody. You built a factory out there - good for you. But I want to be clear. You moved your goods to market on roads the rest of us paid for. You hired workers the rest of us paid to educate. You were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn't have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory... Now look. You built a factory and it turned into something terrific or a great idea - God bless! Keep a hunk of it. But part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along."
- Elizabeth Warren
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
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Greetings, cosmic children of the universe.
Welcome to my serenity circle.
Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.
- the movie Shrek the Third (2007)
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2
It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)
Are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?
- said by Donkey in the movie Shrek 2
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
What you lack, is the capacity.
- said by Shrek in the movie Shrek 2
Remember, happiness is just a teardrop away.
- the movie Shrek 2
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln
All our dreams can come true,
if we have the courage to pursue them.
- Walt Disney
The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
- Yogi Berra
"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
The traveler sees what he sees,
the tourist sees what he has come to see.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton
We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell
Clouds come floating into my life,
no longer to carry rain or usher storm,
but to add color to my sunset sky.
- Rabindranath Tagore
In spite of unseasonable wind, snow
and unexpected weather of all sorts -
a gardener still plants.
And tends what they have planted ...
believing that Spring will come.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The fastest way to destroy love
is to make a goal out of it,
because people who are trying to be loved
come from a place that they're not loved.
- Werner Erhard
Youth, large, lusty, loving -
Youth, full of grace, force, fascination.
Do you know that Old Age may come after you
with equal grace, force, fascination?
- Walt Whitman
The secret of making dreams come true
can be summarized in four C's.
They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and Constancy;
and the greatest of these is Confidence.
- Walt Disney
Being angry is as close as a human being
can come to experiencing hell on earth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Those who have come here to hate should leave now;
for in their hate, they only betray themselves.
- Terry Goodkind
You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you.
You have to go to them sometimes.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn
From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate.
- Socrates
When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon
Don't ask yourself what the world needs;
ask yourself what makes you come alive.
And then go and do that.
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
- Howard Thurman
Take the initiative - don't wait for life to come to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Whatever America hopes to bring to pass in the world
must first come to pass in the heart of America.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Satisfaction does not come with achievement, but with effort.
Full effort is full victory.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I must uphold my ideals,
for perhaps the time will come
when I shall be able to carry them out.
- Anne Frank
Good things come in small packages.
- old proverb
Be an opener of doors for such as come after thee.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thoughts come clearly while one walks.
- Thomas Mann
Communism has never come to power in a country
that was not disrupted by war or corruption, or both.
- John F. Kennedy
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain
The sun WILL come up tomorrow.
- Anonymous
Death is not extinguishing the light;
it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.
- Rabindranath Tagore
It had long since come to my attention
that people of accomplishment
rarely sat back and let things happen to them.
They went out and happened to things.
- Leonardo da Vinci
We come to love not by finding the perfect person,
but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
- Angelina Jolie
The WAY is Not The Way for You,
Unless You Come With an Open Mind,
Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Important ideas can come from unexpected places.
We tend to label people - Genius, Idiot,
Socialist, Regressive, Wingnut, Revolutionary, Terrorist.
But it is helpful to remind ourselves to be open
to good ideas - whatever their source.
It is equally important to avoid accepting any idea
merely because we respect that person's
other ideas or accomplishments.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you build it, he will come.
- the movie Field of Dreams
Strength does not come from winning.
Your struggles develop your strengths.
When you go through hardships
and decide not to surrender,
that is strength.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The most permanent lessons in morals are those which come,
not of booky teaching, but of experience.
- Mark Twain
Strength does not come from physical capacity.
It comes from an indomitable will.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
From small beginnings come great things.
- Anonymous
One of the oldest human needs is having someone
to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night.
- Margaret Mead
"Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely,
"and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
- Lewis Carroll
Have you ever hugged a tree?
Hug a tree, and one day you will come to know
that it is not only that
you have hugged the tree
but that the tree also responds,
the tree also hugs you.
- Osho
When I examine myself and my methods of thought,
I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy
has meant more to me than
any talent for absorbing positive knowledge.
- Albert Einstein
Great opportunities to help others seldom come,
but small ones surround us every day.
- Sally Koch
Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Come to the edge
We can't. We're afraid
We can't. We will fall. Come to the edge
And they came. And he pushed them
And they flew
- Guillaume Apollinaire
Eagles come in all shapes and sizes,
but you will recognize them chiefly by their attitudes.
- E. F. Schumacher
We tend to forget that happiness doesn't
come as a result of getting something we don't have,
but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
- Frederick Koenig
Success doesn't come to you, you go to it.
- Marva Collins
I come with an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
An invasion of armies can be resisted,
but not an idea whose time has come.
- Victor Hugo
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness,
and the word happy would lose its meaning
if it were not balanced by sadness.
It is far better take things as they come along
with patience and equanimity.
- Carl Jung
Well, when you come down to it,
I don't see that a reporter could do much to a president, do you?
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I will prepare and some day my chance will come.
- Abraham Lincoln
Non-violence, which is the quality of the heart,
cannot come by an appeal to the brain.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.