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Let these funny Shrek Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Greetings, cosmic children of the universe.
Welcome to my serenity circle.
Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.
- the movie Shrek the Third (2007)
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2
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You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?
- said by Donkey in the movie Shrek 2
It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2
Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
What you lack, is the capacity.
- said by Shrek in the movie Shrek 2
Remember, happiness is just a teardrop away.
- the movie Shrek 2
Expressing gratitude seems like a cosmic invitation
for all kinds of thankfulness and appreciation to pour in.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
There is not one big cosmic meaning for all,
there is only the meaning we each give to our life,
an individual meaning, an individual plot,
like an individual novel, a book for each person.
- Anais Nin
Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected
in a cosmic religion for the future:
It transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology;
it covers both the natural and the spiritual,
and it is based on a religious sense
aspiring from the experience of all things,
natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity.
- Albert Einstein
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon
I hear many people talk about their longing for a balanced life.
What I think they are really expressing
is a desire for a life with less pressure.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity
opinions which differ from
the prejudices of their social environment.
Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.
- Albert Einstein
Feeling gratitude and not expressing it
is like wrapping a present and not giving it.
- William Arthur Ward
Know that happiness is created by the act
of expressing gratitude for all of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I submit that an individual who breaks the law
that conscience tells him is unjust
and willingly accepts the penalty by staying in jail
to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice,
is in reality expressing the very highest respect for law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
An individual who breaks a law that
conscience tells him is unjust,
and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment
in order to arouse the conscience
of the community over its injustice,
is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
One who breaks an unjust law
that conscience tells him is unjust,
and who willingly accepts
the penalty of imprisonment
in order to arouse the conscience
of the community over its injustice,
is in reality expressing the highest respect for law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
A woman under stress is not immediately concerned
with finding solutions to her problems
but rather seeks relief
by expressing herself and being understood.
- John Gray
Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley
I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson 
It is our choices ... that show what we truly are,
far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling (Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets)
The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein
In all matters of opinion,
our adversaries are insane.
- Oscar Wilde
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde
Our faith comes in moments; our vice is habitual.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We are a puny and fickle folk.
Avarice, hesitation, and following are our diseases.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems,
in my opinion, to characterize our age.
- Albert Einstein
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
- John Lennon
Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
We are always paid for our suspicion by finding what we suspect.
- Henry David Thoreau
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
The means by which we live have outdistanced
the ends for which we live.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
All our dreams can come true,
if we have the courage to pursue them.
- Walt Disney
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell
When the vast cathedral of our being
becomes a sanctuary for all creation,
we become the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe,
our class, and our nation;
and this means we must develop a world perspective.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
We cannot choose our external circumstances,
but we can always choose how to respond to them.
- Epictetus
We have only this moment,
sparkling like a star in our hand -
and melting like a snowflake.
- Marie B. Ray
Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank
Those who won our independence...
valued liberty as an end and as a means.
They believed liberty to be the secret of happiness
and courage to be the secret of liberty.
- Louis D. Brandeis
What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha
"Hurry up" ranks right up there with "you need to"
as a destroyer of our humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As we work to create light for others,
we naturally light our own way.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer
Our faith gives us knowledge of something better.
- E. F. Schumacher
Each of us dwells in a cathedral of our own BEing
that is created vast enough to encompass Unity with all creation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
While civilization has been improving our houses,
it has not equally improved
the men who are to inhabit them.
It has created palaces, but it was
not so easy to create noblemen and kings.
- Henry David Thoreau
Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Miracles are the natural way of the Universe -
our only job is to move our doubting minds aside
and let the miracles flow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.