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Let these funny Sleazy Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?
- said by Donkey in the movie Shrek 2
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
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It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)
I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Greetings, cosmic children of the universe.
Welcome to my serenity circle.
Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.
- the movie Shrek the Third (2007)
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2
Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
What you lack, is the capacity.
- said by Shrek in the movie Shrek 2
Remember, happiness is just a teardrop away.
- the movie Shrek 2
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln
The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick
"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll
All our dreams can come true,
if we have the courage to pursue them.
- Walt Disney
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
- Yogi Berra
The traveler sees what he sees,
the tourist sees what he has come to see.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton
Clouds come floating into my life,
no longer to carry rain or usher storm,
but to add color to my sunset sky.
- Rabindranath Tagore
We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell
In spite of unseasonable wind, snow
and unexpected weather of all sorts -
a gardener still plants.
And tends what they have planted ...
believing that Spring will come.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Being angry is as close as a human being
can come to experiencing hell on earth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate.
- Socrates
When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon
Youth, large, lusty, loving -
Youth, full of grace, force, fascination.
Do you know that Old Age may come after you
with equal grace, force, fascination?
- Walt Whitman
Don't ask yourself what the world needs;
ask yourself what makes you come alive.
And then go and do that.
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
- Howard Thurman
The secret of making dreams come true
can be summarized in four C's.
They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and Constancy;
and the greatest of these is Confidence.
- Walt Disney
Take the initiative - don't wait for life to come to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The fastest way to destroy love
is to make a goal out of it,
because people who are trying to be loved
come from a place that they're not loved.
- Werner Erhard
You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you.
You have to go to them sometimes.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn
Those who have come here to hate should leave now;
for in their hate, they only betray themselves.
- Terry Goodkind
The most permanent lessons in morals are those which come,
not of booky teaching, but of experience.
- Mark Twain
When we come into the present,
we begin to feel the life around us again,
but we also encounter whatever we have been avoiding.
We must have the courage to face whatever is present -
our pain, our desires, our grief,
our loss, our secret hopes our love -
everything that moves us most deeply.
- Jack Kornfield
The way to do fieldwork is never to
come up for air until it is all over.
- Margaret Mead
Strength does not come from physical capacity.
It comes from an indomitable will.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Satisfaction does not come with achievement, but with effort.
Full effort is full victory.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The most important thing about Spaceship Earth -
an instruction book didn't come with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
As long as one keeps searching, the answers come.
- Joan Baez
If I keep a green bough in my heart the singing bird will come.
- Chinese proverb
Whatever America hopes to bring to pass in the world
must first come to pass in the heart of America.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Without this playing with fantasy,
no creative work has ever yet come to birth.
The debt we owe to the play of
the imagination is incalculable.
- Carl Jung
An invasion of armies can be resisted,
but not an idea whose time has come.
- Victor Hugo
Success doesn't come to you, you go to it.
- Marva Collins
One of the oldest human needs is having someone
to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night.
- Margaret Mead
I look forward to these confrontations with the press
to kind of balance up the nice and pleasant things
that come to me as president.
- Jimmy Carter
Strength does not come from winning.
Your struggles develop your strengths.
When you go through hardships
and decide not to surrender,
that is strength.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness,
and the word happy would lose its meaning
if it were not balanced by sadness.
It is far better take things as they come along
with patience and equanimity.
- Carl Jung
I come with an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We come to love not by finding the perfect person,
but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
- Angelina Jolie
Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves
come when life seems most challenging.
- Joseph Campbell
Good things come in small packages.
- old proverb
If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it,
people will eventually come to believe it.
- Joseph Goebbels (Minister of Propaganda in Nazi Germany)
I must uphold my ideals,
for perhaps the time will come
when I shall be able to carry them out.
- Anne Frank
Come to the edge
We can't. We're afraid
We can't. We will fall. Come to the edge
And they came. And he pushed them
And they flew
- Guillaume Apollinaire
We come nearest to the great
when we are great in humility.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The WAY is Not The Way for You,
Unless You Come With an Open Mind,
Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller
The key to happiness is having dreams.
The key to success is making your dreams come true.
- Anonymous
The sun WILL come up tomorrow.
- Anonymous
When life is too easy for us, we must beware
or we may not be ready to meet the blows
which sooner or later come to everyone, rich or poor.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I come to life with an Open Mind,
Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The full measure of a man is
not to be found in the man himself,
but in the colors and textures that
come alive in others because of him.
- Albert Schweitzer
The best is yet to come.
- Ernest Holmes
No individual has any right to come into the world
and go out of it without leaving something behind.
- George Washington Carver
Guys are like stars, there are millions of them,
but only one to make your dreams come true.
- Anonymous
From small beginnings come great things.
- Anonymous
Be an opener of doors for such as come after thee.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.