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Let these funny Whack Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
If you have an important point to make,
don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver.
Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again.
Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
- Winston Churchill
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2
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It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)
I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?
- said by Donkey in the movie Shrek 2
Greetings, cosmic children of the universe.
Welcome to my serenity circle.
Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.
- the movie Shrek the Third (2007)
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
What you lack, is the capacity.
- said by Shrek in the movie Shrek 2
Remember, happiness is just a teardrop away.
- the movie Shrek 2
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
All our dreams can come true,
if we have the courage to pursue them.
- Walt Disney
"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
- Yogi Berra
The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick
In spite of unseasonable wind, snow
and unexpected weather of all sorts -
a gardener still plants.
And tends what they have planted ...
believing that Spring will come.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Clouds come floating into my life,
no longer to carry rain or usher storm,
but to add color to my sunset sky.
- Rabindranath Tagore
We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell
The traveler sees what he sees,
the tourist sees what he has come to see.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton
Those who have come here to hate should leave now;
for in their hate, they only betray themselves.
- Terry Goodkind
Youth, large, lusty, loving -
Youth, full of grace, force, fascination.
Do you know that Old Age may come after you
with equal grace, force, fascination?
- Walt Whitman
When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon
Don't ask yourself what the world needs;
ask yourself what makes you come alive.
And then go and do that.
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
- Howard Thurman
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn
Take the initiative - don't wait for life to come to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you.
You have to go to them sometimes.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The secret of making dreams come true
can be summarized in four C's.
They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and Constancy;
and the greatest of these is Confidence.
- Walt Disney
The fastest way to destroy love
is to make a goal out of it,
because people who are trying to be loved
come from a place that they're not loved.
- Werner Erhard
Being angry is as close as a human being
can come to experiencing hell on earth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate.
- Socrates
The earth is like a spaceship
that didn't come with an operating manual.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Without this playing with fantasy,
no creative work has ever yet come to birth.
The debt we owe to the play of
the imagination is incalculable.
- Carl Jung
If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller
The WAY is Not The Way for You,
Unless You Come With an Open Mind,
Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We come nearest to the great
when we are great in humility.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Communism has never come to power in a country
that was not disrupted by war or corruption, or both.
- John F. Kennedy
Success doesn't come to you, you go to it.
- Marva Collins
When life is too easy for us, we must beware
or we may not be ready to meet the blows
which sooner or later come to everyone, rich or poor.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Strength does not come from winning.
Your struggles develop your strengths.
When you go through hardships
and decide not to surrender,
that is strength.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Guys are like stars, there are millions of them,
but only one to make your dreams come true.
- Anonymous
Satisfaction does not come with achievement, but with effort.
Full effort is full victory.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it,
people will eventually come to believe it.
- Joseph Goebbels (Minister of Propaganda in Nazi Germany)
When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to
criticize or attack the government of my own country.
I make up for lost time when I come home.
- Winston Churchill
From small beginnings come great things.
- Anonymous
One of the oldest human needs is having someone
to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night.
- Margaret Mead
The key to happiness is having dreams.
The key to success is making your dreams come true.
- Anonymous
My greatest Power and my greatest Inner Peace come
when I Intend my future, and when I avoid Expecting it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Good things come in small packages.
- old proverb
The sun WILL come up tomorrow.
- Anonymous
We tend to forget that happiness doesn't
come as a result of getting something we don't have,
but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
- Frederick Koenig
I will prepare and some day my chance will come.
- Abraham Lincoln
If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino
Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain
When I Come To The Edge of the Familiar,
I Spread My Wings and Fly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The full measure of a man is
not to be found in the man himself,
but in the colors and textures that
come alive in others because of him.
- Albert Schweitzer
When people speak to you about a preventive war,
you tell them to go fight it.
After my experience, I have come to hate war.
War settles nothing.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Whatever America hopes to bring to pass in the world
must first come to pass in the heart of America.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Great opportunities to help others seldom come,
but small ones surround us every day.
- Sally Koch
Spread love everywhere you go.
Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.
- Mother Teresa
We come this way but once.
We can either tiptoe through life
and hope we get to death without being badly bruised
or we can live a full, complete life achieving
our goals and realizing our wildest dreams.
- Bob Proctor
As long as one keeps searching, the answers come.
- Joan Baez
I come with an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We may have all come on different ships,
but we're in the same boat now.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Non-violence, which is the quality of the heart,
cannot come by an appeal to the brain.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I come to life with an Open Mind,
Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.