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Let these funny Cross Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
You can't cross the sea merely by
standing and staring at the water.
- Rabindranath Tagore
I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated;
you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- David Lloyd George
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You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- old proverb often attributed to David Lloyd George
No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny
without leaving some mark on it forever.
- Francois Muriac
To look at the cross-section of any plan of a big city
is to look at something like the section of a fibrous tumor.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Anger and Danger are intimately intertwined.
An angry person is a dangerous person,
whether that person crosses our path
or whether the angry person is ourself.
To complete the anger/danger cycle,
whenever we feel threatened -
when we believe we are in danger -
we tend to exhibit anger as well as fear.
We look for someone to blame for the dangerous situation,
and direct our anger toward them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The grass is not always greener
on the other side of the fence.
Fences have nothing to do with it.
The grass is greenest where it is watered.
When crossing over fences, carry water with you
and tend the grass wherever you may be.
- Anonymous
Every blade of grass has an angel
that bends over it and whispers, "grow! grow!
- Talmud
To me a lush carpet of pine needles or spongy grass
is more welcome than the most luxurious Persian rug.
- Helen Keller
There is not a sprig of grass that shoots uninteresting to me.
- Thomas Jefferson
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night.
It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime.
It is the little shadow which runs across
the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
- Crowfoot (Blackfoot warrior and orator 1830 - 1890)
If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy,
if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you,
if the simple things in nature have a message you understand,
Rejoice, for your soul is alive.
- Eleanora Duse
We need to find God, and he cannot
be found in noise and restlessness.
God is the friend of silence.
See how nature - trees, flowers, grass-
grows in silence; see the stars,
the moon and the sun, how they move in silence...
We need silence to be able to touch souls.
- Mother Teresa
It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand.
I beat people up.
- Muhammad Ali (world champion boxer)
Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer
Remember that life is an ADVENTURE, and cheer Whee...
all the way down the slippery razor-blade of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade.
It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
- Rabindranath Tagore
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
A fool and his money are soon elected.
- Will Rogers
As soon as there is life there is danger.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon,
but that we wait so long to begin it.
- Anonymous
I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
- Albert Einstein
I am but a grain of sand on the beach of life.
My footprints in the sands of time soon wash away.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As soon as man does not take his existence for granted,
but beholds it as something
unfathomably mysterious, thought begins.
- Albert Schweitzer
As soon as you trust yourself,
you will know how to live.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
If a man does not make new acquaintances
as he advances through life,
he will soon find himself alone.
A man, sir, should keep his friendships in constant repair.
- Samuel Johnson
You cannot do a kindness too soon,
for you never know how soon it will be too late.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A people that values its privileges
above its principles
soon loses both.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Act the way you'd like to be
and soon you'll be the way you act.
- Leonard Cohen
Truth is by nature self-evident.
As soon as you remove the cobwebs of ignorance
that surround it, it shines clear.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A truly good book teaches me better than to read it.
I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint.
What I began by reading, I must finish by acting.
- Henry David Thoreau
Knowledge is soon changed, then lost in the mist, an echo half-heard.
- Gene Wolfe
Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
you shall begin it serenely
and with too high a spirit
to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.
Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man;
But soon or late the man who wins is the one who thinks he can.
- Anonymous
There is a fine line between perseverance and insanity.
At what point have you tried your best,
and it's time to do something different?
It's a balance - a paradox.
If you get in the habit of giving up
as soon as something gets difficult,
your life won't work,
but if you keep tilting at windmills -
madly trying the same thing again and again,
your life also won't work.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We should meet abuse by forbearance.
Human nature is so constituted that
if we take absolutely no notice of anger or abuse,
the person indulging in it will soon weary of it and stop.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
When people get married because they think
it's a long-time love affair,
they'll be divorced very soon,
because all love affairs end in disappointment.
But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity.
- Joseph Campbell
There never was and is not likely soon to be
a nation of philosophers,
nor am I certain it is desirable that there should be.
- Henry David Thoreau
On His Blindness:
When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait.
- John Milton (1608-1674)
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz
I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.
- Stephanie Klein
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder
Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I
Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein
A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous
Whenever I find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.
- Anonymous
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done.
- Amelia Earhart
Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha
No matter what happens, someone will find a way
to take it too seriously.
- Dave Barry
Resenting someone is a way of never leaving that person.
- Kare Anderson
I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear
to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat.
- Sylvester Stallone
The art of acceptance is the art of making someone
who has just done you a small favor
wish that he might have done you a greater one.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
When someone you love dies,
you don't lose them all at once.
You lose them in pieces over time
- the movie Simon Birch
Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Resenting someone, or hating someone, ensures that
you can never emotionally escape that person.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.