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Let these funny Virginia Woolf Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf
For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
- Virginia Woolf
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
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People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow
Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell
Not until we are lost
do we begin to understand ourselves.
- Henry David Thoreau
I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau
There is a time to cry for those we have lost,
and there is a time to wipe the tears and smile again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton
Though lovers be lost love shall not.
- Dylan Thomas
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson
People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.
Just because they're not on your road
doesn't mean they've gotten lost.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Being part of the natural world reminds me
that innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel
Knowledge is soon changed, then lost in the mist, an echo half-heard.
- Gene Wolfe
If we open a quarrel between past and present,
we shall find that we have lost the future.
- Winston Churchill
Man has lost the capacity to foresee and to forestall.
He will end by destroying the earth.
- Albert Schweitzer
Life cannot be lived fully or joyfully if
our thoughts are focused on regretting the past,
preoccupied with anticipating the future,
or lost in the mind-fog of unconscious habitual behavior.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The final delusion is the belief
that one has lost all delusions.
- Maurice Chapelain
Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs
when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing,
because it can disappear for a long time,
and then pop back up when you least expect it.
- Lemony Snicket
A child miseducated is a child lost.
- John F. Kennedy
Love is never lost. If not reciprocated,
it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.
- Washington Irving
Innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel
If you have built castles in the air,
your work need not be lost;
that is where they should be.
Now put foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau
When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to
criticize or attack the government of my own country.
I make up for lost time when I come home.
- Winston Churchill
Are you feeling stressed and upset?
If so, you are worrying about tomorrow.
Events that have already occurred may cause you regret,
but they only appear to cause worry.
If you just lost your job, you are not worrying about losing your job -
that already happened.
You are worrying about paying your bills and finding a new job.
Those are worries about tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
He who hesitates is lost.
- Proverb
As long as any adult thinks that he,
like the parents and teachers of old,
can become introspective,
invoking his own youth to understand
the youth before him,
he is lost.
- Margaret Mead
For want of a nail the shoe was lost;
for want of a shoe the horse was lost;
and for want of a horse the rider was lost.
- Benjamin Franklin
The sum of wisdom is that
time is never lost that is devoted to work.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The more we know about how we lost
our spontaneous wonder and creativity,
the more we can find ways to get them back.
- John Bradshaw
The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
What usually happens in the educational process is
that the faculties are dulled, overloaded, stuffed
and paralyzed so that by the time most people are mature
they have lost their innate capabilities.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
While it is natural to feel some degree of
need for the approval of others, be careful.
If you find yourself unwilling to
take actions that others disapprove of,
you have lost control of your own life
and have given your destiny to others.
An excessive need-for-approval
is a sign of low self-esteem,
and in severe cases, a condition termed co-dependency.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is much more painful to have lost
something you thought you had,
than never to have had it at all.
If feels as if our trust was dashed.
We are disappointed and we are angry;
but not quite sure at who to direct our anger.
Someone, perhaps "the system," perhaps God,
should have done better.
Most of all we are angry at ourselves -
even though we did our best -
and we are afraid.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When virtue is lost, benevolence appears,
when benevolence is lost right conduct appears,
when right conduct is lost, expedience appears.
Expediency is the mere shadow of right and truth;
it is the beginning of disorder.
- Lao Tzu
Never in any case say I have lost such a thing, but I have returned it.
Is your child dead? It is a return. Is your wife dead? It is a return.
Are you deprived of your estate? Is not this also a return?
- Epictetus
You can learn how to let go of the past.
Whether you have experienced a break up
with someone you cared for deeply,
whether death has taken a loved one,
whether you have had a feud with a friend or family member,
whether you have lost a job.
Move on and let go.
Life can be joyful and rewarding again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing is more valuable than your self respect.
When you lose respect for yourself, you have lost everything.
Whatever it takes, and whoever you upset,
do what you know - deep inside - is the right thing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I desire so to conduct the affairs
of this administration that, if at the end...
I have lost every other friend on earth,
I shall at least have one friend left,
and that friend shall be down inside of me.
- Abraham Lincoln
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Our moments of inspiration are not lost
though we have no particular poem to show for them;
for those experiences have left an indelible impression,
and we are ever and anon reminded of them.
- Henry David Thoreau
There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart
Money, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations.
- Thomas Jefferson
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
For my part, I consider that it will be found much better
by all parties to leave the past to history,
especially as I propose to write that history myself.
- Winston Churchill
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde
How does so much gossip fit in such small minds?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Hold on with a bulldog grip,
and chew and choke as much as possible.
- Abraham Lincoln
Money often costs too much.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
but the calf won't get much sleep.
- Woody Allen
The invisible and nonexistent look much alike.
- Delos B. McKown
Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus
I always avoid prophesying beforehand,
because it is a much better policy to prophesy
after the event has already taken place.
- Winston Churchill
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
It was impossible to get a conversation going,
everybody was talking too much.
- Yogi Berra
Riches do not exhilarate us so much with their possession
as they torment us with their loss.
- Epicurus
Those who own much have much to fear.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge:
it is those who know little, and not those who know much,
who so positively assert that this or that problem
will never be solved by science.
- Charles Darwin
Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.