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Funny Bail Quotes
Funny Quotes about Bail

Let these funny Bail Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips


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Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman


 

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous

I never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
- Henry David Thoreau

The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley

The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson

We can never replace a friend.
When a man is fortunate enough to have several,
he finds they are all different.
No one has a double in friendship.
- Johann Schiller

Choose a friend as thou dost a wife,
till death separate you.
- William Penn

When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
- Anonymous

If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship,
we must love our friend for their sakes
rather than for our own.
- Charlotte Bronte

Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
- Matthew 18:15

A friend to all is a friend to none.
- Aristotle

You are my friend when you can guard my failure,
challenge my thought and celebrate my success.
- Anonymous

Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend,
but it requires a very fine nature
to sympathize with a friend's success.
- Oscar Wilde

A friend is a present you give yourself.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

He's my friend that speaks well of me behind my back.
- Thomas Fuller

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings

A true friend is one who believes in you
when you have ceased to believe in yourself.
- Anonymous

An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes

Time is my friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I choose you as my friend, and rejoice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is a great confidence in a friend
to tell him your faults;
greater to tell him his.
- Benjamin Franklin

If I mayn't tell you what I feel,
what is the use of a friend?
- William Makepeace Thackeray

When one gets angry, it is always angry AT someone -
perhaps a friend or spouse, perhaps a stranger,
perhaps the nameless "they" - "those people at the bank wronged me,"
perhaps God, or perhaps oneself.
In any case, when one gets angry,
they want to find someone to be "responsible" for what happened.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Throw your dreams into space like a kite,
and you do not know what it will bring back,
a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.
- Anais Nin

So long as we are loved by others,
I would almost say that we are indispensable;
and no man is useless while he has a friend.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

A best friend is like a four leaf clover,
hard to find and lucky to have.
- Anonymous

If you wish to succeed in life,
make perseverance your bosom friend,
experience your wise counselor,
caution your elder brother,
and hope your guardian genius.
- Joseph Addison

Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu

A new friend is like new wine;
when it has aged you will drink it with pleasure.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.
- Henry Ford

A friend is someone who understands my past,
believes in my future,
and accepts me just the way I am.
- Anonymous

The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

A true friend is a rock upon whom you can depend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A real friend is one who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell

Walking with a friend in the dark is better
than walking alone in the light.
- Helen Keller

A sister is a gift to the heart,
a friend to the spirit,
a golden thread to the meaning of life.
- Isadora James

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
- Euripides

A friend in need is a friend indeed.
- Latin Proverb


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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