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Let these funny Apprehend Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
We should not pretend to understand
the world only by the intellect;
we apprehend it just as much by feeling.
Therefore, the judgment of the intellect is,
at best, only the half of truth, and must, if it be honest,
also come to an understanding of its inadequacy.
- Carl Jung
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer 
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill
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A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling
The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank
You either do it completely and utterly,
or you should stop doing it.
- Bono (paraphrase)
I've learned that you should always
leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
- Anonymous
Everyone should carefully observe
which way his heart draws him,
and then choose that way with all his strength.
- Hasidic Proverb
Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
If a man is proud of his wealth,
he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
- Socrates
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp
Those who have come here to hate should leave now;
for in their hate, they only betray themselves.
- Terry Goodkind
Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye
It is one thing to say that something should be done,
but quite a different matter to do it.
- Aesop
All major religious traditions
carry basically the same message,
that is love, compassion and forgiveness.
The important thing is they should
be part of our daily lives.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Every citizen should be a soldier.
This was the case with the Greeks and Romans,
and must be that of every free state.
- Thomas Jefferson
A man should look for what is,
and not for what he thinks should be.
- Albert Einstein
No partner in a love relationship...
should feel that he has to give up
an essential part of himself to make it viable.
- May Sarton
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
- Albert Einstein
The only way to store information is by agreement.
The belief system is like a Book of Law that rules our mind.
Our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive.
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others,
but we cannot accept and love ourselves.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
A man should do his job so well that the living,
the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
We should not moor a ship with one anchor,
or our life with one hope.
- Epictetus
I soothe my conscience now with the thought that
it is better for hard words to be on paper
than that Mummy should carry them in her heart.
- Anne Frank
How often I found where I should be going
only by setting out for somewhere else.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
If you have built castles in the air,
your work need not be lost;
that is where they should be.
Now put foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau
But for my faith in God, I should have been a raving maniac.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
If there is anything that we wish to change in the child,
we should first examine it and see whether it is
not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
- Carl Jung
It is more dangerous that even
a guilty person should be punished
without the forms of law
than that he should escape.
- Thomas Jefferson
Is it not enough to know the evil to shun it?
If not, we should be sincere enough to admit
that we love evil too well to give it up.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
You should not confuse your career with your life.
- Dave Barry
No one has yet realized the wealth of sympathy,
the kindness and generosity hidden in the soul of a child.
The effort of every true education should be to unlock that treasure.
- Emma Goldman
One that desires to excel
should endeavor in those things
that are in themselves most excellent.
- Epictetus
Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery
in which to bury the faults of his friends.
- Henry Brooks Adams
Do not do unto others
as you expect they should do unto you.
Their tastes may not be the same.
- George Bernard Shaw
What people often mean by getting rid of conflict
is getting rid of diversity,
and it is of the utmost importance
that these should not be considered the same.
- M. P. Follett
NO ONE has been granted the authority to tell me
how my life should be lived.
I answer only to myself and to Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A friend should be a master at guessing and keeping still.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Some people wanted champagne and caviar
when they should have had beer and hot dogs.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung
We should take care not to make the intellect our god;
it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.
- Albert Einstein
The one serious conviction that a man should have
is that nothing should be taken too seriously.
- Nicholas Murray Butler
He who would pass his declining years with honor and comfort,
should, when young, consider that he may one day become old,
and remember when he is old, that he has once been young.
- Joseph Addison
Form follows function - that has been misunderstood.
Form and function should be one, joined in a spiritual union.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Were it left to me to decide whether we should
have a government without newspapers,
or newspapers without a government,
I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.
- Thomas Jefferson
Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is.
Treat a man as he can and should be,
and he will become as he can and should be.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.