If you look into your own heart, by Confucius

If you look into your own heart,
by Confucius

Choose a job you love,
and you will never have to work a day in your life.
- Confucius

The gem cannot be polished without friction,
nor man perfected without trials.
- Confucius

Music produces a kind of pleasure
which human nature cannot do without.
- Confucius

To know everything is to know nothing,
but to know nothing is to know everything.
- Confucius

Never impose on others what
you would not choose for yourself.
- Confucius (Ancient Chinese)

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed;
if in terms of ten years, plant trees;
if in terms of 100 years, teach the people.
- Confucius

"To know" is to know that you know nothing.
That is the meaning of true knowledge.
- Confucius

They must often change,
who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
- Confucius

Our greatest glory is not in never falling,
but in rising every time we fall.
- Confucius

Success depends upon previous preparation,
and without such preparation there is sure to be failure.
- Confucius

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2

You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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If you look into your own heart,by Confucius

Funny Quotes

If you look into your own heart,
by Confucius