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One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence. ...
by Ogden Nash

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
- Ogden Nash

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

Too clever is dumb.
- Ogden Nash


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Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
and that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer


 

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter

Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln

A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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