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Let these funny Ogden Nash Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
- Ogden Nash
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
Too clever is dumb.
- Ogden Nash
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Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
and that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash
Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This is your day to Laugh at Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness depends upon ourselves.
- Aristotle 
Happiness is a choice.
- Anonymous
Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.
- Zhuangzi
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns
Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar
No one is in control of your happiness but you;
therefore, you have the power to change anything
about yourself or your life that you want to change.
- Barbara De Angelis
Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What is happiness except the simple harmony
between a man and the life he leads?
- Albert Camus
If you want to be happy, be.
- Leo Tolstoy
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer
I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is,
he feels that happiness is his indisputable right.
- Helen Keller
Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
- H. L. Mencken
Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile,
but sometimes your smile
can be the source of your joy.
- Thich Nhat Hanh
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie
The only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer.
The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy.
Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
- Mark Twain
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect,
and the absence of ego.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Simple living is the way to happy living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Some days are simply meant for playing.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous
Many persons have a wrong idea of
what constitutes true happiness.
It is not attained through self-gratification
but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
- Helen Keller
My greatest service to others is living happily,
and radiating happiness and joy to those around me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Your success and happiness lies in you.
Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you
shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller
Consistent happiness is found through
living in a state of constant gratitude.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you don't take full responsibility
for your own happiness,
who do you suppose will?
Your happiness is a one person job -
it begins and ends with you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus
Celebrate! Celebration is an expression of Gratitude.
Gratitude is like the prayer, while
Celebration is the hymn and sacred dance.
Celebration is its own road to happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The key to success, and to happiness,
is being fully engaged in life -
leading yourself with inspiration and committed action -
setting your own fine and honorable example.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When you dance, your purpose is not to get
to a certain place on the floor.
It's to enjoy each step along the way.
- Wayne Dyer
Wealth, like happiness, is never attained when sought after directly.
It comes as a by-product of providing a useful service.
- Henry Ford
Your greatest gift to others is to be happy
and to radiate your happiness to the entire world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Where fear is, happiness is not.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued,
is always just beyond your grasp,
but which, if you will sit down quietly,
may alight upon you.
- Nathaniel Hawthorne
As a happy person, you radiate happiness to the world.
Visualize your light radiating throughout the world,
passing from person to person until it encircles the globe.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Those who won our independence...
valued liberty as an end and as a means.
They believed liberty to be the secret of happiness
and courage to be the secret of liberty.
- Louis D. Brandeis
Happiness is a choice.
You grieve, you stomp your feet,
you pick yourself up and choose to be happy.
- Lucy Lawless
You can not find happiness by chasing after it.
Happiness comes from doing what you love to do,
and from being who you truly are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you have health, you probably will be happy,
and if you have health and happiness,
you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want.
- Elbert Hubbard
Happiness is not the absence of problems,
but the willingness to deal with them joyfully.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The unselfish effort to bring cheer to others
will be the beginning of a happier life for ourselves.
- Helen Keller
Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions,
it is governed by our mental attitude.
- Dale Carnegie
Happiness... consists in giving, and in serving others.
- Henry Drummond
The really great secret - Happiness is free.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
- Anonymous
The path to your own happiness is usually found in service.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is only one happiness in life: to love and to be loved.
- George Sand
When you feel worried and depressed,
consciously form a smile on your face and act upbeat
until the happy feeling becomes genuine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness is a choice - independent of circumstances.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No one has a right to consume happiness without producing it.
- Helen Keller
Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind,
than on outward circumstances.
- Benjamin Franklin
Life will not meet your expectations -
choose joy anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness isn't at the end of the rainbow.
Happiness is at the beginning of the rainbow.
Following the rainbow is happiness,
not getting to the end of it.
- Werner Erhard
Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world.
We cannot cure the world of sorrows,
but we can choose to live in joy.
- Joseph Campbell
The path of the adventurer is a path of joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The greater part of our happiness or misery
depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.
- Martha Washington
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.