Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers. ...
by Bridget Jones

This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary (2001)

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

Determine never to be idle.
No person will have occasion to complain
of the want of time who never loses any.
It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
- Thomas Jefferson


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


May we so love as never to have occasion
to repent of our love!
- Henry David Thoreau

The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present.
The occasion is piled high with difficulty,
and we must rise with the occasion.
As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew.
- Abraham Lincoln

Start living now.
Stop saving the good china
for that special occasion.
Stop withholding your love
until that special person materializes.
Every day you are alive is a special occasion.
Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God.
- Mary Manin Morrissey


 

Let us celebrate the occasion
with wine and sweet words.
- Plautus

I cannot pretend to be impartial about the colors.
I rejoice with the brilliant ones, and
am genuinely sorry for the poor browns.
- Winston Churchill

The people of the world genuinely want peace.
Some day the leaders of the world are going to
have to give in and give it to them.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Follow what you are genuinely passionate about
and let that guide you to your destination.
- Diane Sawyer

In my own deepening understanding of myself
I find my capacity to serve others is deepened as well.
The better I am at self-care
the more genuinely nurturing of others I am able to be.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

What lies behind us and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Whatever you want in life, start today.
Not tomorrow - today.
Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning.
Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The world is moved along, not only
by the mighty shoves of its heroes,
but also by the aggregate of tiny pushes
of each honest worker.
- Helen Keller

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
- the movie Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West

Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous

I got a perfect build for clothes.
I'm a twenty-eight dwarf.
- the movie Love and Death

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

The food at this place is really terrible ...
and such small portions.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau

He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell,
it is simply purgatory.
- Abraham Lincoln

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead

Confucius might have said:
Once frightened, twice smelly in armpit.
- Anonymous humor

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Anonymous

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)

I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf

Don't threaten me with a dead fish.
- the movie Withnail & I (1987)

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire


Thank you for visiting: This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers. ... by Bridget Jones.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.