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Let these funny Occasion Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary (2001)
May we so love as never to have occasion
to repent of our love!
- Henry David Thoreau
Determine never to be idle.
No person will have occasion to complain
of the want of time who never loses any.
It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
- Thomas Jefferson
The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present.
The occasion is piled high with difficulty,
and we must rise with the occasion.
As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew.
- Abraham Lincoln
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Start living now.
Stop saving the good china
for that special occasion.
Stop withholding your love
until that special person materializes.
Every day you are alive is a special occasion.
Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God.
- Mary Manin Morrissey
Let us celebrate the occasion
with wine and sweet words.
- Plautus
Don't Wait!
Start on your dreams, your impulses,
your longings, your special occasions today.
Because this is your moment.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The spirit of resistance to government
is so valuable on certain occasions
that I wish it to be always kept alive.
- Thomas Jefferson
Bad times have a scientific value.
These are occasions a good learner would not miss.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Why wait until you're dead,
when you can create your own Hell right here and now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you wait for opportunities to occur,
you will be one of the crowd.
- Edward de Bono
We'll be friends until forever, just you wait and see.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon,
but that we wait so long to begin it.
- Anonymous
Take the initiative - don't wait for life to come to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If we are not happy and joyous at this season,
for what other season shall we wait and
for what other time shall we look?
- Abdul-Baha
My JOY Factory is Immense.
I don't wait for joy,
I manufacture my own.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Friends are those rare people who ask how we are
and then wait to hear the answer.
- Anonymous
The man who goes alone can start today;
but he who travels with another
must wait till that other is ready.
- Henry David Thoreau
Do not wait for leaders;
do it alone, person to person.
- Mother Teresa
They Also Serve Who Only Stand and Wait
- John Milton
How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment
before starting to improve the world.
- Anne Frank
Curiosity is lying in wait for every secret.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right,
you'll probably never do much of anything.
- Win Borden
Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down
on the tracks of history
to wait for the train of the future to run over him.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Drive Change, don't wait for change to drive you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Spirit has unlimited patience,
and will wait for me to evolve.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Spread your wings - TODAY. Why wait?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A city is a place where there is no need to
wait for next week to get the answer to a question,
to taste the food of any country,
to find new voices to listen to and familiar ones to listen to again.
- Margaret Mead
On His Blindness:
When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait.
- John Milton (1608-1674)
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Anonymous
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton
I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts
A politician needs the ability to
foretell what is going to happen
tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
And to have the ability afterwards
to explain why it didn't happen.
- Winston Churchill
Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Everyone believes that their beliefs are the right ones -
that is why they are called beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain
You see things and you say, Why?
But I dream things that never were and say, Why not
- George Bernard Shaw
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor
Life is serious? Why?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do you ever question why our educational system
teaches competition rather than cooperation?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Misery nourishes your ego -
that's why you see so many miserable people in the world.
The basic, central point is the ego.
- Osho
There are those that look at things
the way they are, and ask "Why?"
I dream of things that never were, and ask "Why not?"
- Robert F. Kennedy paraphrase of George Bernard Shaw
Why, I'd like nothing better than to achieve
some bold adventure, worthy of our trip.
- Aristophanes
People often say that motivation doesn't last.
Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.
- Zig Ziglar
Bold, Wild, and Colorful -
Why Be Anything Less?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The reason why men do not obey us,
is because they see the mud at the bottom of our eye.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We may have our private opinions
but why should they be a bar to the meeting of hearts?
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love
will have the final word in reality.
That is why right, temporarily defeated,
is stronger than evil triumphant.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
To live is to choose. But to choose well,
you must know who you are and what you stand for,
where you want to go and why you want to get there.
- Kofi Annan
Choose to See Beauty and Joy:
Much in life can be seen as ugly or beautiful - it's our choice.
Why would we choose to see any part of life as ugly?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There are a hundred valid reasons why something can't be done,
but only one reason, Commitment, why it can.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein
He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Why does the eye see a thing more clearly in dreams
than the imagination when awake?
- Leonardo da Vinci
Urgent? Why?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am a miracle, and that's why I'm ME.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Much in life can be seen as ugly or beautiful - it's our choice.
Why would we choose to see any part of life as ugly?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If I am a legend, then why am I so lonely?
- Judy Garland
Life is change. Without change, there is no life.
Why then do we so fight against change?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.