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A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand 
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.