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Let these funny Unopposed Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Aggression unopposed becomes a contagious disease.
- Jimmy Carter
Man must evolve for all human conflict,
a method which rejects
revenge, aggression and retaliation.
The foundation of such a method is love.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields 
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
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A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.