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Funny Regrets Quotes
Funny Quotes about Regrets

Let these funny Regrets Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Regrets are the tears of good deeds left undone
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No regrets.
- Anonymous

Make the most of your regrets;
never smother your sorrow,
but tend and cherish it till it comes to have
a separate and integral interest.
To regret deeply is to live afresh.
- Henry David Thoreau

Regrets and resentments cause great suffering but fix nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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Regrets are the tears of choices not made
and of good deeds left undone.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Live life with no regrets and no resentments.
Whatever happened in the past,
forgive yourself and others. Choose love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei


 

Forgiveness is the cleansing fire
that burns away old regrets and resentments.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary
to put all the play and learning into childhood,
all the work into middle age,
and all the regrets into old age.
- Margaret Mead

Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything.
You are you and that is the beginning and the end -
no apologies, no regrets.
- Henry Kissinger

I accept everything that ever has been,
with no regrets, no resentments, and no call for vengeance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.
- Yiddish Proverb

The regrets and resentments etched in a heart
remain until they are cleansed away with love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You are perfect. You are complete.
Your inner voice always knows what to do,
but it is a quiet voice.
You can only hear the whisperings of your inner voice -
your inner compass - when you turn down the volume
of your fears, your regrets, your resentments,
and the fear-based advice
your neighbors are so willing to give you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stop holding on to the past.
Release your regrets about whatever you may have done
or failed to do that turned out poorly.
Forgive others for whatever they may have done
or failed to do that cause you harm.
Declare today to be a new beginning.
Let go of the past and move on with creating
a joyful new future for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Release your burdens - your fears, regrets,
guilts, shames, embarrassments, angers.
One by one, pick up each memory or fear that troubles you,
hold it close, and release it to the Universe.
Release each incident from your past that still bothers you.
Release each fear - your fears about your health,
your family, your job, and every other fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Regrets and their cousins, resentments,
are a huge cause of self-inflicted suffering.
Sometimes it takes years of psychotherapy
to gain freedom from regrets about what you did or did not do,
and freedom from resentment over what others did or did not do.
Sometimes it takes a lifetime of self-talk to remember
to put the past in the past where it belongs.
However, sometimes a simple symbolic act can help immeasurably
to grant ourselves freedom from the past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Choose love. Choose to release all resentments.
Forgive everyone. Choose to release all regrets.
Forgive yourself for all decisions that you have ever made
that didn't work out as you hoped.
Forgive yourself for any financial decisions
that didn't meet your expectations.
Release your regrets if you choose
the "wrong" spouse or the "wrong" career.
Today, choose love.
Choose to love yourself.
Choose to love your life.
Choose to love all the friends, family, co-workers,
acquaintances, and others who share your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

If you aren't in the moment,
you are either looking forward to uncertainty,
or back to pain and regret.
- Jim Carrey

Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Life is too short, time is too precious,
and the stakes are too high
to dwell on what might have been.
- Hilary Clinton

You can't change the past,
but you can ruin the present
by worrying about the future.
- Anonymous

To give up yourself without regret is the greatest charity.
- Bodhidharma

We have to let go of all blame, all attacking, all judging,
to free our inner selves to attract what we say we want.
- Joe Vitale

Regret is an appalling waste of time.
- Katherine Mansfield

Choose with no regret.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Training yourself to live in the present -
without regretting the past or fearing the future -
is a recipe for a happy life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The importance of history is in it's
educational value for our lives today,
not in regret, resentment, or revenge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be prepared for life -
to live happily and without regret,
knowing that you have done your best.
- the Boy Scout Handbook

Life is short,
Break the Rules.
Forgive quickly,
Kiss SLOWLY.
Love truly.
Laugh uncontrollably
And never regret
ANYTHING
That makes you smile
- Mark Twain

Regret is an appalling waste of energy,
you can't build on it - it's only good for wallowing in.
- Katherine Mansfield

The 3 Rs that Plague Humanity:
Regret, Resentment, and Revenge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Breath by breath, let go of fear, expectation, anger,
regret, cravings, frustration, fatigue.
Let go of the need for approval.
- Lama Surya Das

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time;
it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.
- Sydney Harris

Choose! If it's worth doing, do it today.
If it's not worth doing today, save yourself a lot
of worry and regret by choosing to permanently
erase it from your to-do list.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I often regret that I have spoken;
never that I have been silent.
- Publilius Syrus

Gain happiness by living in the present -
without regret for the past or fear of the future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Regret, worry, and fear squeeze
the juice from life leaving a dry hulk.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Make it a rule of life never to regret
and never to look back.
- Katherine Mansfield

Are you feeling stressed and upset?
If so, you are worrying about tomorrow.
Events that have already occurred may cause you regret,
but they only appear to cause worry.
If you just lost your job, you are not worrying about losing your job -
that already happened.
You are worrying about paying your bills and finding a new job.
Those are worries about tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you have been divorced, you know it hurts -
especially if your marriage had lasted many years.
Whatever the circumstances of your relationship,
and whatever the nature of its ending,
there is always grief and regret -
perhaps regret over the ending,
or perhaps regret over not ending the relationship sooner -
or perhaps both.
Nonetheless, move past the grief and regret.
No matter how painful, divorce, like all endings,
opens the door to new beginnings.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I rest in the light of forgiveness.
I forgive myself and others for that
which is done (and better left undone)
and also that which is not done (and better if done).
I give myself permission to enjoy this moment without guilt.
I freely release all uncertainty, regret, and fear.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

You are not your mind. You, a Spiritual BEing,
are neither your mind nor your body.
Mind and body are your tools - to use as you choose.
Sometimes your body appears to have a will of its own,
as when it twitches or pains.
Likewise, your mind often appears to have its own will.
That incessant chattering of regret, disappointment, guilt,
shame, foreboding, worry, and fear
is your Rattlesnake Mind striking off on its own.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Forgiveness is not a one time thing.
Forgiveness must be practiced again and again in different ways
because we may find many dimensions to the wrongs we have suffered.
Bitterness and resentment are like weeds that can continue to pop up
until we have plucked out the last plant by its roots
and extinguished the last seed.
We must carefully tend the garden of our mind and soul,
lest we be overrun by the weeds of bitterness and regret.
- Carly Foster

He who spends time regretting the past,
loses the present and risks the future.
- Quevedo

I have always been regretting that
I was not as wise as the day I was born.
- Henry David Thoreau

Life cannot be lived fully or joyfully if
our thoughts are focused on regretting the past,
preoccupied with anticipating the future,
or lost in the mind-fog of unconscious habitual behavior.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day,
he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer.
But if he spends his days as a speculator,
shearing off those woods and making the earth bald before her time,
he is deemed an industrious and enterprising citizen.
- Henry David Thoreau

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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