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Let these funny Evaporate Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Constant kindness can accomplish much.
As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding,
mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.
- Albert Schweitzer
Life is a constant oscillation
between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
- H. L. Mencken
Life is NOT a constant emergency.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Constant development is the law of life,
and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas
in order to appear consistent
drives himself into a false position.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
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The very nature of the world is constant change.
You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it;
then the assumptions on which you
based your plan change - they always do.
The challenge is to retain your goals
while adapting your tactics.
Relax and stay flexible in order to reach
your goals and maintain your happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
They must often change,
who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
- Confucius
Be slow to fall into friendship;
but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.
- Socrates
The inherent nature of life is constant change.
To fear change is to fear life itself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Consistent happiness is found through
living in a state of constant gratitude.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a constant opponent,
and an overpowering adversary if attacked directly.
The successful and happy ones dance lightly with life -
a parry here, a feint there - always engaged,
but never in the direct line of life's heaviest blows.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If a man does not make new acquaintances
as he advances through life,
he will soon find himself alone.
A man, sir, should keep his friendships in constant repair.
- Samuel Johnson
Praying without ceasing is not ritualized,
nor are there even words.
It is a constant state of awareness of oneness with God.
- Peace Pilgrim
There is no doubt that life can be a bumpy ride.
But so were those roller coasters you loved as a kid.
Savor the adventure.
Find excitement in the uncertainty and the constant change.
Even let a touch of fear add spice to your life -
as you did on that roller coaster.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone,
your heart is telling you that you have
not resolved your issues with them.
In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person.
All of this begs the question, how do we forgive?
First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories
about why you behave the way you do.
Stop blaming your behavior on other people
and take responsibility for your emotional reactions.
If you could forgive all the people in your life
who have hurt or wounded you
it would be possible to be in control of your behavior
instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time.
Imagine living life without experiencing
a constant emotional roller-coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy!
That would be bliss!
- Sheri Rosenthal
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard
Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell
It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.