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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Cat Quotes
Funny Quotes about Cat

Let these funny Cat Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down
rat holes with baited breath.
- W. C. Fields

It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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A meowing cat can't catch mice.
- Yiddish Proverb

A discussion of philosophy is like a cat chasing its tail -
it may be an amusing diversion but
it has no chance for a satisfying conclusion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Like a Cat, I am Independent, Patient, Alert, and Decisive.
When the time is right, I pounce on opportunity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

If you want reality to be different than it is,
you might as well try to teach a cat to bark.
- Byron Katie

When I took office, only high energy physicists
had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web...
Now even my cat has its own page.
- William J. Clinton

THE fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
- Carl Sandburg

If you want something to be different than it is,
you might as well teach a cat to bark.
Wanting something to be different than it is, is hopeless.
- Byron Katie

One day Alice came to a fork in the road
and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His responses was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
- Lewis Carroll

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

I am fond of pigs.
Dogs look up to us.
Cats look down on us.
Pigs treat us as equals.
- Winston Churchill

There are two means of refuge
from the miseries of life:
music and cats.
- Albert Schweitzer

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series

Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln

Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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