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Let these funny Rat Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down
rat holes with baited breath.
- W. C. Fields
Those distractions that turn my attention from
what I thought I was going to do today are not "rat holes";
they are Enchanted Rabbit Holes
with a Magical White Bunny awaiting in each.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland
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Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer
Breaking up is a natural evolution
when you try to figure out what you want in life.
If you're with an individual
who isn't moving in the same direction
and at the same rate that you are,
it ain't going to work.
- Usher Raymond
The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Beliefs have evolved based on survival value.
Certain belief systems have been more conducive than others
to people living long enough to reproduce,
and having a high rate of reproduction.
It's that basic.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Man tends to increase at a greater rate
than his means of subsistence.
- Charles Darwin
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain
Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates
The whole problem with the world is that
fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- Anonymous
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow
Always do the right thing.
It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain
To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White
History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte
I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain
People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler
These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert,
to fleece the people.
- Abraham Lincoln
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people
by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett
Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis
Join the army. Visit strange and exotic places.
Meet fascinating people. And kill them.
- Anonymous
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott
People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel
Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.