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Let these funny Alaska Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
To the lover of wilderness,
Alaska is one of the most wonderful countries in the world.
- John Muir
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner 
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
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I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather
The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Silence is a source of great strength.
- Lao Tzu
The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Regrets and resentments cause great suffering but fix nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono
The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
- Thomas Henry Huxley
Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller
You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss
I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller
Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard
Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell
It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein
No crime is so great as daring to excel.
- Winston Churchill
Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Dare to dream of your great success.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I have a great deal of company in the house,
especially in the morning when nobody calls.
- Henry David Thoreau
Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye
In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln
Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The mediocre teacher tells.
The good teacher explains.
The superior teacher demonstrates.
The great teacher inspires.
- William Arthur Ward
Because of a great love, one is courageous.
- Lao Tzu
About leadership: No person can be a great leader
unless he takes genuine joy
in the successes of those under him.
- W. A. Nance
The only good luck many great men ever had was
being born with the ability and determination to overcome bad luck.
- Channing Pollock
A great democracy does not make it harder to vote than to buy an assault weapon.
- William J. Clinton
All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
It is an act of great Courage to forsake all Blame.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When you become centered, suddenly there is great freedom
because you know you are not the mind and you are not the body.
- Osho
The choice is to work alone to be a little
more successful than the next person,
or to work together for the great betterment of humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The great defense against the air menace
is to attack the enemy's aircraft
as near as possible to their point of departure.
- Winston Churchill
Little strokes,
Fell great oaks.
- Benjamin Franklin
Great acts are made up of small deeds.
- Lao Tzu
The greatest roadblock to a great relationship
is trying to force a partner to change through bribes or threats.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The willow which bends to the tempest,
often escapes better than the oak which resists it;
and so in great calamities,
it sometimes happens that light and frivolous spirits
recover their elasticity and presence of mind sooner
than those of a loftier character.
- Albert Schweitzer
These are the keys to a great life...
taking oneself lightly, forgiveness, and acceptance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
After climbing a great hill,
one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.
- Nelson Mandela
Great men or men of great gifts
you shall easily find,
but symmetrical men never.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
These are not dark days: these are great days -
the greatest days our country has ever lived.
- Winston Churchill
Nurture your mind with great thoughts,
for you will never go any higher than you think.
- Benjamin Disraeli
People with great gifts are easy to find,
but symmetrical and balanced ones never.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news.
The good news is that you don't know how great you can be!
How much you can love!
What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!
- Anne Frank
Great works are performed not by strength,
but by perseverance.
- Samuel Johnson
To be great is to be misunderstood.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Just as a man would not cherish living
in a body other than his own,
so do nations not like to live under other nations,
however noble and great the latter may be.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy
It is a great confidence in a friend
to tell him your faults;
greater to tell him his.
- Benjamin Franklin
As many raindrops join to form a great river of water,
many souls join their highest intent to form
the river of evolved consciousness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.