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A man is a success if he gets up in
the morning and gets to bed at night,
and in between he does what he wants to do.
- Bob Dylan
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand 
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
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Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.