Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
by The Maugles

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman


 

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou

The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

I never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
- Henry David Thoreau

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau

The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau

The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson

The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez

The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

Time is my friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A holiday, the day I first named you, "friend."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
- Anonymous

A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
- Euripides

I choose you as my friend, and rejoice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This communicating of a man's self to his friend
works two contrary effects;
for it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half.
- Francis Bacon

A friend is someone who understands my past,
believes in my future,
and accepts me just the way I am.
- Anonymous

The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

The best friend is the man who in wishing me well
wishes it for my sake.
- Anonymous

So long as we are loved by others,
I would almost say that we are indispensable;
and no man is useless while he has a friend.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
- Bill Watterson

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar,
but I cherish the friend who for me
does not consult his calendar.
- Robert Brault

Better to be a nettle in the side of your friend than his echo.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Walking with a friend in the dark is better
than walking alone in the light.
- Helen Keller

A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.
- Abraham Lincoln

Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.
- Albert Camus

If you wish to succeed in life,
make perseverance your bosom friend,
experience your wise counselor,
caution your elder brother,
and hope your guardian genius.
- Joseph Addison

A brother is a friend given by Nature.
- Jean Baptiste Legouve

A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A friend is one who walks in when others walk out
- Walter Winchell

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings

The good man is the friend of all living things.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A real friend is one who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell

A true friend is the one who
walks in when others walk out.
- Walter Winchell

An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.
- Thomas Jefferson

Love is the only force capable of
transforming an enemy into friend.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The best mirror is an old friend.
- Proverb

In my friend, I find a second self.
- Isabel Norton

If I mayn't tell you what I feel,
what is the use of a friend?
- William Makepeace Thackeray

Each friend represents a world in us,
a world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
- Anais Nin

A friend is one before whom I can think aloud.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The only thing to do is to hug one's friend tight and do one's job.
- Edith Wharton


Thank you for visiting: A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. by The Maugles.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.