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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Proper Quotes
Funny Quotes about Proper

Let these funny Proper Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman
in the midst of this world,
where each person is clinging to his piece of debris?
What's the proper salutation between people
as they pass each other in this flood?
- The Buddha

Don't think you can attain total awareness and whole enlightenment
without proper discipline and practice. This is egomania.
Appropriate rituals channel your emotions
and life energy toward the light.
Without the discipline to practice them,
you will tumble constantly backward into darkness.
- Lao Tzu


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The Creator has not thought proper
to mark those in the forehead
who are of stuff to make good generals.
We are first, therefore, to seek them blindfold,
and then let them learn the trade
at the expense of great losses.
- Thomas Jefferson

What are the proper grounds for joy?
Is it circumstance which will
determine the stature of my spirit?
Ah, no. It is choice. It is always a choice -
in the face of any event - for joy.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze
than it should be stifled by dry rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor,
every atom of me in magnificent glow,
than a sleepy and permanent planet.
The proper function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time.
- Jack London


 

I've always believed that if done properly,
armed robbery doesn't have to be an unpleasant experience.
- the movie Thelma & Louise

Prejudice is a two-edged sword.
Like the steel sort of sword, it's very sharp, very useful,
and very dangerous if not properly mastered.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Prayer is not an old woman's idle amusement.
Properly understood and applied,
it is the most potent instrument of action.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell

Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins

My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy

Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

Those who won our independence...
valued liberty as an end and as a means.
They believed liberty to be the secret of happiness
and courage to be the secret of liberty.
- Louis D. Brandeis

Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known.
- Michel de Montaigne

No statement should be believed because it is made by an authority.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Even the truth, when believed, is a lie.
You must experience the truth, not believe it.
- Werner Erhard

Friendship, like the immortality of the soul,
is too good to be believed.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Only those who can leave behind everything they
have ever believed in can hope to escape.
- William S. Burroughs

Real love is never a selfish emotion.
If you want something from someone -
especially if that something is sex -
what you are feeling is not true love.
True love is about wanting happiness for the person you love -
and not about seeking happiness for yourself.
Fortunately, in most cases our own loving presence
is the greatest gift we can give to a person we love.
Nonetheless, the litmus test of love is knowing
we would choose never to see that person again
if we believed that distance would bring them greater happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West

Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2

There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

What this country needs is a credit card for
charging things to experience.
- Tom Wilson

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Still, things could be a lot worse.
Oh, that's right... I'm falling to my death. Guess they can't.
- the movie Megamind (2010)

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein

True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

Few things are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

Facts are stubborn things,
but statistics are more pliable.
- Laurence J. Peter

Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln

"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

We don't see things as they are,
we see things as we are.
- Anais Nin

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- widely misattributed to Mark Twain

All things at first appear difficult.
- Chinese proverb

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves
to recognize how good things really are.
- Marianne Williamson

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing,
of just going along,
listening to all the things you can't hear,
and not bothering.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I am one with the Earth,
with the Water, with the Fire,
with the Air that I breathe,
with all Living Things,
and we are all one with Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All things share the same breath -
the beast, the tree, the man...
the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports.
- Chief Seattle (attributed)

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

One of the annoying things about believing in free will
and individual responsibility is the difficulty
of finding somebody to blame your problems on.
And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable
how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

A time for work, a time for play -
balance in all things.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)

Everything is a miracle,
not just the beautiful and lovely things.
- Anonymous

I was thinking that I might fly today.
Just to disprove all the things you say...
please be careful with me, I'm sensitive,
and I'd like to stay that way.
- Jewel

You see things and you say, Why?
But I dream things that never were and say, Why not
- George Bernard Shaw

The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy

In a separation it is the one
who is not really in love
who says the more tender things.
- Marcel Proust

Inspire people to do things for themselves.
Inspire people to think for themselves.
- Bono


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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