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Let these funny Yard Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Most people give up just when
they're about to achieve success.
They quit on the one yard line.
They give up at the last minute of the game,
one foot from a winning touch down.
- Ross Perot
Cloud Animals: Be a Child Again.
I remember warm summer afternoons,
laying in the shade of a maple tree in the back yard
of my Connecticut home watching the clouds for hours.
As those clouds formed dragons and foxes, clowns and angels,
I traveled across space and time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Front yards are not made to walk in, but, at most, through,
and you could go in the back way.
- Henry David Thoreau
The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken
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A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.
- Albert Camus
There is a great future in front of you,
you can leave your past behind.
- Joel Osteen
It is better to lead from behind
and to put others in front,
especially when you celebrate victory
when nice things occur.
You take the front line when there is danger.
Then people will appreciate your leadership.
- Nelson Mandela
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately,
to front only the essential facts of life,
and see if I could not learn what it had to teach,
and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
- Henry David Thoreau
The Master teaches that the way of qigong cannot be hurried.
Wuji refers to the time before the creation -
when everything was formless.
Standing in the wuji position, my feet are parallel
to each other, shoulder-width apart.
My knees are slightly bent,
and the tip of my tongue touches the roof of my mouth.
My arms are held in front of me with my elbows bent
and my palms parallel to each other - about four inches apart.
At first I focus on my breathing, and only my breathing.
Later, I visualize the energy or "Qi" between my palms.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Namaste is a greeting of unity and acceptance
that recognizes the equality of all,
and pays honor to the sacredness of interconnection.
The sense of Namaste is
"The God in me greets the God in you,
I bow to the divine in you."
While saying Namaste, press the palms of the hands together
in front of the heart and bow the head slightly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People disparage knowing and the intellectual life,
and urge doing.
I am content with knowing, if only I could know.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
True art is characterized by an irresistible
urge in the creative artist.
- Albert Einstein
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- Anonymous
An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder
Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker
These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert,
to fleece the people.
- Abraham Lincoln
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Join the army. Visit strange and exotic places.
Meet fascinating people. And kill them.
- Anonymous
People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry
Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow
Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek
Thinking is what most people resort to after all else fails.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.
- Albert Schweitzer
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi
Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people
by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White
Always do the right thing.
It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.