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Let these funny Weekly Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process,
gradually changing opinions,
slowly eroding old barriers,
quietly building new structures.
- John F. Kennedy
What you don't do daily, you probably won't do weekly either.
What you make a habit of putting-off
just keeps getting pushed away again and again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A politician needs the ability to
foretell what is going to happen
tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
And to have the ability afterwards
to explain why it didn't happen.
- Winston Churchill
Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.
- Joseph Addison
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Keep close to Nature's heart...
and break clear away, once in awhile,
and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods.
Wash your spirit clean.
- John Muir
Find a job you like and you add five days to every week.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Just stop it. Seriously.
Whatever it is. Just stop it.
If only for an hour, a day, a week.
Stop doing it long enough to get a glimpse
of what the change would actually look like.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Choose to adopt the attitude toward failure that sports teams do.
In each game, one team succeeds and one fails.
Then the next week they both get out and play again.
Life is also a game - with some successes and some failures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A city is a place where there is no need to
wait for next week to get the answer to a question,
to taste the food of any country,
to find new voices to listen to and familiar ones to listen to again.
- Margaret Mead
I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
The future ain't what it used to be.
- Yogi Berra
It's just random chance, baby; get used to it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl
In those days he was wiser than he is now;
he used to frequently take my advice.
- Winston Churchill
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Win as if you were used to it,
lose as if you enjoyed it for a change.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Be a yardstick of quality.
Some people aren't used to an environment
where excellence is expected.
- Steve Jobs
I used to tell my husband that,
if he could make me "understand" something,
it would be clear to all the other people in the country.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Friendship, like credit, is highest when it is not used.
- Elbert Hubbard
"Think simple" as my old master used to say -
meaning reduce the whole of its parts
into the simplest terms,
getting back to first principles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca
A great secret of success is to go through life
as a man who never gets used up.
- Albert Schweitzer
Life should not be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming, "Wow! What a Ride!"
- Hunter S. Thompson
We cannot solve our problems with the same
thinking we used when we created them.
- Albert Einstein
I offer my body, my mind
and any ability that I posses,
to be used by Thee, O Infinite Creator,
in whatever way Thou dost choose
to express Thyself through me.
I know that all work is Thy work,
and that no task is too difficult
or too menial when offered
to Thee in loving service.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
To love. To be loved.
To never forget your own insignificance.
To never get used to the unspeakable violence
and the vulgar disparity of life around you.
To seek joy in the saddest places.
To pursue beauty to its lair.
To never simplify what is complicated
or complicate what is simple.
To respect strength, never power.
Above all, to watch. To try to understand.
To never look away. And never, never, to forget.
- Arundhati Roy
In this outward and physical ceremony,
we attest once again to the inner
and spiritual strength of our Nation.
As my high school teacher, Miss Julia Coleman, used to say:
"We must adjust to changing times,
and still hold to unchanging principles."
- Jimmy Carter
We all should choose our friends carefully.
I used to think that no one could know me better than somebody else,
because you're inside yourself, your body, you can't see yourself.
If you think like that, you surround yourself with
other people who are willing to tell you who you are,
which are usually judgmental people ...
we should really surround ourselves with the ones
that adore us and believe in the highest of us.
- Jewel
Most people consider the course of events as natural and inevitable.
They little know what radical change are possible through prayer.
Every morning I offer my body, my mind and any ability that I posses,
to be used by Thee, O infinite creator,
in whatever way Thou dost choose to express Thyself through me.
I know that all work is Thy work, and that no task is too difficult
or too menial when offered to Thee in loving service.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
Is a belief a perception of the five senses,
or is it a perception of emotional feeling?
Is it better to say "I sense" and/or "I feel"?
Is it better to say " I know" than "I believe"?
Is belief based on experience or on a idea?
My thinking is that belief/believing is a very missed used word.
- Anonymous
The body is an instrument which
only gives off music when it is used as a body.
Always an orchestra, and just as music traverses walls,
so sensuality traverses the body and reaches up to ecstasy.
- Anais Nin
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.