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Funny Politician Quotes
Funny Quotes about Politician

Let these funny Politician Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
- H. L. Mencken

A politician needs the ability to
foretell what is going to happen
tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
And to have the ability afterwards
to explain why it didn't happen.
- Winston Churchill

The politician in my country seeks votes,
affection and respect, in that order.
With few notable exceptions,
they are simply men who want to be loved.
- Edward R. Murrow

I was really too honest a man to be a politician and live.
- Socrates


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No part of the education of a politician is more indispensable
than the fighting of elections.
- Winston Churchill

Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly,
usually for the same reason.
- Anonymous

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy


 

I'm always rather nervous about how you talk
about women who are active in politics,
whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians.
- John F. Kennedy

I am never going to have anything more to do
with politics or politicians.
When this war is over I shall confine myself entirely
to writing and painting.
- Winston Churchill

I have faith. I just need proof to back it up.
- the movie Simon Birch

Don't expect me to get excited over
another damn thing we need to find.
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)

I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin

I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors

My life is difficult. I need more money.
- the movie The Expendables (2010)

Whenever I feel the need to exercise,
I lie down until it goes away.
- Robert Maynard Hutchins

Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield

All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence;
then success is sure.
- Mark Twain

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers

A bank is a place that will lend you money
if you can prove that you don't need it.
- Bob Hope

Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

Stand Tall, Stand Proud.
Know that you are unique and magnificent.
You do not need the approval of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sometimes we need the fog to remind ourselves
that all of life is not black and white.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite
smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol
before, after and if need be during all meals
and in the intervals between them.
- Winston Churchill

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

Listen to the compass of your heart.
All you need lies within you.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"Hurry up" ranks right up there with "you need to"
as a destroyer of our humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

Unlike grown-ups, children have little need to deceive themselves.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17

We disrespect ourselves and our free-will
whenever we say that we NEED to do something.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
- Satchel Paige

The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy

Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Parting is all we know of heaven, and all we need of hell.
- Emily Dickinson

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We humans feel an instinctive need to know
what is coming next - what we can count upon.
We fear change - even the most positive change.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Being part of the natural world reminds me
that innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel

If you have built castles in the air,
your work need not be lost;
that is where they should be.
Now put foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau

You don't need a reason to be happy,
just a choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you have to have it, it's ego.
If you have to not have it, it's ego.
Hold life lightly and it will deliver what you need
and release what you don't.
- Alan Cohen

Those who know how to think need no teachers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If you have health, you probably will be happy,
and if you have health and happiness,
you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want.
- Elbert Hubbard

We act as though comfort and luxury
were the chief requirements of life,
when all that we need to make us really happy
is something to be enthusiastic about.
- Charles Kingsley

Many people allow their need
for other people's approval to control their lives.
They spend their lives worrying about what others think of them.
- Rick Warren

I have no need to conform to the stereotypes
others have defined for me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The best slave does not need to be beaten. She beats herself.
- Erica Jong

I believe life's rich experiences need to be shared with others -
for me this is the way one builds knowledge.
- Pravs J

Breath by breath, let go of fear, expectation, anger,
regret, cravings, frustration, fatigue.
Let go of the need for approval.
- Lama Surya Das

Everything I need will be manifested.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know that you do not need the approval of others.
You are unique and magnificent. Stand tall, stand proud.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We're constantly striving for success, fame and comfort
when all we really need to be happy
is someone or some thing to be enthusiastic about.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Relief has its place. But what the people need
is not relief, but release -
release of their own potential for development.
- Jimmy Yen

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment
before starting to improve the world.
- Anne Frank

The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white.
Neither need you do anything but be yourself.
- Lao Tzu

We can never get enough of what we don't really need.
- Matthew Kelly

Innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel

One service to need heals an ancient wound.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Look at this butterfly, so beautiful, so delicate.
I can enjoy this butterfly from a distance,
but if I touched her, she would die.
While not quite as delicate as butterflies,
people also need private space and private time
away from the demands of the world -
even away from the attentions of those
with whom they are most bonded.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A friend in need is a friend indeed.
- Latin Proverb

All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.
- The Beatles

Make your important choices in life
based on your values and your long-term objectives
rather than on a need for approval.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I haven't got any special religion this morning.
My God is the God of Walkers.
If you walk hard enough,
you probably don't need any other god.
- Bruce Chatwin

I love you because I love you.
You are a part of me, and
I need no reasons to love you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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