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Let these funny Universally Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
It is strange to be known so universally
and yet to be so lonely.
- Albert Einstein
An unclean person is universally a slothful one.
- Henry David Thoreau
I am a unique expression of the universal fabric of creation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie 
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Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Every formula of every religion has, in this age of reason,
to submit to the acid test of reason and universal assent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I am a Unique Expression
of the Universal Fabric of Creation.
I celebrate both my uniqueness
and my connection with all that is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Whenever a man or women is truly inspired,
it is because the same One Universal Spirit
is doing the inspiring.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The universal Mind contains all knowledge.
It is the potential ultimate of all things.
To it, all things are possible.
- Ernest Holmes
The key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions
such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Compassion is the universal standard of moral living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When the universal sacraments of compassion and joy
fill the vast cathedral of our being,
we become the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The vast Cathedral of Your Being
becomes sanctuary for all creation
as you celebrate the universal sacraments
of compassion and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today, more than ever before, life must be characterized
by a sense of Universal responsibility,
not only nation to nation and human to human,
but also human to other forms of life.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking.
There is an almost universal quest
for easy answers and half-baked solutions.
Nothing pains some people more than having to think.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I am a unique expression
of the universal fabric of creation;
I am that I am that I am.
In the eternity of all creation,
I am the only ME that ever will be;
and I am so honored that the Power of the Universe
has chosen for me to be ME.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We must not reduce the bosom of the universal church
to a nest protecting our mediocrity.
- Pope Francis
A wise one said, "We are most like God when we forgive."
It is easy for us to blame, but hard for us to forgive.
Yet that is what we are called upon to do -
to forgive everyone for everything.
And the reward?
In this life, the reward for forgiveness
is your own happiness.
Unconditional universal forgiveness is
the key to your own happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Forgiving others is a gift to yourself,
given not because the other deserves pardon,
but because you deserve the serenity and joy
that comes from releasing resentment and anger,
and from embracing universal forgiveness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary;
new, universal, and more liberal laws
will begin to establish themselves around and within him;
or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favor
in a more liberal sense,
and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings.
- Henry David Thoreau
This life is what you make it.
Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes,
it's a universal truth.
But the good part is,
you get to decide how you're going to mess it up.
Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway.
But just remember, some come, some go.
The ones that stay with you through everything -
they're your true best friends.
Don't let go of them.
Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world.
- Marilyn Monroe
Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Just like everyone else.
- Margaret Mead
It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Stand Tall, Stand Proud.
Know that you are unique and magnificent.
You do not need the approval of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Self-respect is not a function of size, age, or wealth.
Breathe deep, sing loud and sweet,
"I am me, I am unique, I am magnificent."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We never see Life as it really is.
All we can ever see is the reflection of Life -
distorted by our unique perceptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am me, I am unique, I am magnificent.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am unique in all time and space.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Know that you do not need the approval of others.
You are unique and magnificent. Stand tall, stand proud.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every man and woman is born into the world
to do something unique and something distinctive;
and if he or she does not do it,
it will never be done.
- Benjamin E. Mays
As we grow as unique persons, we learn to respect
the uniqueness of others.
- Robert H. Schuller
Know that you are special, and unique in all creation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole
for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast
and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat -
dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
America and Israel share a special bond.
Our relationship is unique among all nations.
Like America, Israel is a strong democracy,
a symbol of freedom, and an oasis of liberty,
a home to the oppressed and persecuted.
- William J. Clinton
Today is a unique and special day.
It is unlike any other day you have ever experienced.
If you assume that today is like every other day,
you will never notice today's uniqueness.
If you practice keen awareness, you will get
to savor today's uniquely wonderful qualities.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What each must seek in his life never was on land or sea.
It is something out of his own unique potentiality for experience,
something that never has been and never could
have been experienced by anyone else.
- Joseph Campbell
Great relationships begin with two people who are each
self confident and who come to each other with the openness
to see and accept the other as a unique and wonderful person.
If there is true love and an alignment of fundamental values,
choose to join your life with your new partner
and vow never to criticize their nature -
the essence that makes them uniquely themselves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn
It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain
Just remember, after they foreclose on your mortgage,
you get a lot more sunshine in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie
Remember that life is an ADVENTURE, and cheer Whee...
all the way down the slippery razor-blade of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It doesn't matter who my father was.
It matters who I remember he was.
- Anne Sexton
Life is a nurturing mother,
when you just remember to say "thank you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness;
however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens
reflect the kind of care they get.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Remember, happiness is just a teardrop away.
- the movie Shrek 2
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies,
but the silence of our friends.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons.
Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.
- Cherie-Carter Scotts
You remember lesson about balance?
Lesson not just karate only. Lesson for whole life.
Whole life have a balance. Everything be better. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
Those who cannot remember the past
are condemned to repeat it.
- George Santayana
May you never forget what is worth remembering,
or remember what is best forgotten.
- Anonymous
Remember, we all stumble, every one of us.
That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand.
- Emily Kimbrough
When you have shut your doors, and darkened your room,
remember, never to say that you are alone,
for you are not alone, but God is within,
and your genius is within.
- Epictetus
Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
- Confucius
Remember that not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Remember that the happiest people
are not those getting more, but those giving more.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
He who would pass his declining years with honor and comfort,
should, when young, consider that he may one day become old,
and remember when he is old, that he has once been young.
- Joseph Addison
The more a man can forget, the greater the number
of metamorphoses which his life can undergo,
the more he can remember, the more divine his life becomes.
- Soren Kierkegaard
I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me.
They have clung to me all my life.
- Abraham Lincoln
When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain
When you feel the need to hurry,
remember that everything in life is a CHOICE.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.