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Let these funny Spanish Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
A man too busy to take care of his health is like
a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.
- Spanish Proverb
Life without a friend is like death without a witness.
- Spanish proverb
People will, in a great degree,
and not without reason,
form their opinion of you upon
that which they have of your friends;
and there is a Spanish proverb
which says very justly,
"Tell me whom you live with,
and I will tell you who you are.
- Lord Chesterfield
Tell me whom you live with,
and I will tell you who you are.
- Spanish Proverb
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Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.