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Let these funny Skid Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Life should not be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming, "Wow! What a Ride!"
- Hunter S. Thompson
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.