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Let these funny Sights Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
All my life through, the new sights
of Nature made me rejoice like a child.
- Marie Curie
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide 
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
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The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.
- Helen Keller
Obstacles are like wild animals.
They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can.
If they see you are afraid of them...
they are liable to spring upon you;
but if you look them squarely in the eye,
they will slink out of sight.
- Orison Swett Marden
The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller
In order to discover new lands,
one must be willing to lose sight
of the shore for a very long time.
- Anonymous
Think occasionally of the suffering
of which you spare yourself the sight.
- Albert Schweitzer
Recognizing my blindness is the first step
toward regaining my sight.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A day spent without the sight or sound of beauty,
the contemplation of mystery,
or the search of truth or perfection
is a poverty-stricken day; and a succession
of such days is fatal to human life.
- Lewis Mumford
There is danger that we lose sight of
what our friend is absolutely,
while considering what she is to us alone.
- Henry David Thoreau
I breathed a song into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For who has sight so keen and strong,
That it can follow the flight of song -
The song from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy,
if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you,
if the simple things in nature have a message you understand,
Rejoice, for your soul is alive.
- Eleanora Duse
Bold Light of Spirit:
Out of the darkness and into the light,
Open our eyes and behold such a sight.
Brilliance of day takes the place of the night,
Boldness and courage are swords of His Might.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Of all the senses, sight must be the most delightful.
- Helen Keller
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous
Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett
In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.