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Let these funny Shunted Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Too often the great decisions are originated and given form
in bodies made up wholly of men, or so completely dominated
by them that whatever of special value women
have to offer is shunted aside without expression.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
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The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)
Serious illness doesn't bother me for long
because I am too inhospitable a host.
- Albert Schweitzer
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Frankly, I'm too scared to ask about the frog.
- the movie Tangled (2010)
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns
Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion
without the discomfort of thought.
- John F. Kennedy
I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy
Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
Too clever is dumb.
- Ogden Nash
Money often costs too much.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
It was impossible to get a conversation going,
everybody was talking too much.
- Yogi Berra
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
- Voltaire
Rules are mostly made to be broken
and are too often for the lazy to hide behind.
- Douglas MacArthur
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
You are never too old to set another goal
or to dream a new dream.
- C. S. Lewis
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor
The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
- Alfred Adler
It is a mistake to look too far ahead.
Only one link in the chain of destiny
can be handled at a time.
- Winston Churchill
This too, shall pass.
- Bible
Genius always finds itself a century too early.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man too busy to take care of his health is like
a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.
- Spanish Proverb
Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
- Harry S. Truman
I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Life is too short, time is too precious,
and the stakes are too high
to dwell on what might have been.
- Hilary Clinton
The chains of habit are too weak to be felt
until they are too strong to be broken.
- Samuel Johnson
We are afraid to care too much, for fear
that the other person does not care at all.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
In the long history of humankind (and animal-kind, too)
those who learned to collaborate and
improvise most effectively have prevailed.
- Charles Darwin
No matter what happens, someone will find a way
to take it too seriously.
- Dave Barry
Fate is for those too weak to determine their own destiny.
- Kamran Hamid
We never repent of having eaten too little.
- Thomas Jefferson
So long as you have courage and a sense of humor,
it is never too late to start life afresh.
- Freeman Dyson
You may be deceived if you trust too much,
but you will live in torment
if you don't trust enough.
- Frank Crane
I was really too honest a man to be a politician and live.
- Socrates
We should be too big to take offense
and too noble to give it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Is it not enough to know the evil to shun it?
If not, we should be sincere enough to admit
that we love evil too well to give it up.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
It's never too late.
- Anonymous
By not caring too much about what people think,
I'm able to think for myself
and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular.
And I succeed.
- Albert Ellis
Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike.
Each has their suffering.
Some suffer too much, others too little.
- The Buddha
We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children
that makes the heart too big for the body.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Every actual State is corrupt.
Good men must not obey laws too well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Miracles are a retelling in small letters
of the very same story
which is written across the whole world
in letters too large for some of us to see.
- C. S. Lewis
Governing a great nation is like cooking a small fish -
too much handling will spoil it.
- Lao Tzu
When life is too easy for us, we must beware
or we may not be ready to meet the blows
which sooner or later come to everyone, rich or poor.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Embrace your uniqueness.
Time is much too short to be
living someone else's life.
- Kobi Yamada
Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers.
This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated
thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
- Albert Einstein
I would rather be exposed to
the inconveniences attending too much liberty
than those attending too small a degree of it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Too many people are thinking of security
instead of opportunity.
They seem more afraid of life than death.
- James F. Bymes
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.