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Let these funny Selling Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
There are people selling thoughtlessness with such casualty.
- Jewel
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed
to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers
Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.
Cleverness is mere opinion, bewilderment is intuition.
- Rumi
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Do not trouble yourself much
to get new things, whether clothes or friends...
Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.
- Henry David Thoreau
Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield
Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll
I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller
True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton
Well-behaved women seldom make history.
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Great and good are seldom the same man.
- Winston Churchill
Great opportunities to help others seldom come,
but small ones surround us every day.
- Sally Koch
The most important things in life
are seldom the most obvious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be alert. The most important things in life
are seldom the most obvious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Friendship often leads to love,
but lust seldom leads to friendship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most successful war seldom pays for its losses.
- Thomas Jefferson
Things are seldom what they seem.
- William S. Gilbert (Gilbert and Sullivan: HMS Pinafore)
Today's problems can seldom be solved using yesterday's answers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thoughtful people seldom share exactly the same opinion -
the same point-of-view.
The wise ones understand that they know nothing -
for virtually none of our experience is truly factual -
and they graciously honor all other opinions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most of us seldom let the outrageous
part of ourselves out to play.
Notice that I didn't say "never," I said "seldom."
Halloween is one of those exceptions.
While there are certainly many "bah humbug" houses on our street,
more than half the houses wear an acknowledgement of Halloween -
and nothing about Halloween is NOT outrageous.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is a wonderful advantage to a man,
in every pursuit or avocation,
to secure an adviser in a sensible woman.
In woman there is at once a subtle delicacy of tact,
and a plain soundness of judgement,
which are rarely combined to an equal degree in man.
A woman, if she be really your friend,
will have a sensitive regard for your character, honor, repute.
She will seldom counsel you to do a shabby thing:
for a woman friend always desires to be proud of you.
- Edward Bulwer-Lytton
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha
A good-bye is never painful unless
you're never going to say hello again.
- Anonymous
You cannot discover new oceans unless
you have the courage to lose site of the shore.
- Anonymous
To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.
- Confucius
A house is not a home unless it
contains food and fire
for the mind as well as the body.
- Benjamin Franklin
Unless we place our religion
and our treasure in the same thing,
religion will always be sacrificed.
- Epictetus
By nature, we are all creatures of habit.
We instinctively adopt familiar routines for most activities.
We eat about the same number of meals each day -
at more or less the same times.
We have a regular pattern of sleeping -
unless it is perturbed by illness or shift work.
Most everything we do is habitual.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The part can never be well unless the whole is well.
- Plato
No one can terrorize a whole nation,
unless we are all his accomplices.
- Edward R. Murrow
About leadership: No person can be a great leader
unless he takes genuine joy
in the successes of those under him.
- W. A. Nance
Unless you try to do something
beyond what you have already mastered,
you will never grow.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Courage is doing what you're afraid to do.
There can be no courage unless you're scared.
- Eddie Rickenbacker
You can't get unless you give.
And you have to give without wanting to get.
- Theodore H. White
I do not believe in a fate that
falls on men however they act;
but I do believe in a fate
that falls on them unless they act.
- The Buddha
No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -
unless you let him.
- Napoleon Hill
A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
People rarely succeed unless they
have fun in what they are doing.
- Dale Carnegie
It is no use walking anywhere to preach
unless our walking is our preaching.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Quotations are dead unless a spur for inquiry.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Unless both sides win,
no agreement can be permanent.
- Jimmy Carter
A man can't ride your back unless it's bent.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
A bend in the road is not the end of the road
unless you fail to make the turn.
- Anonymous
I hate the giving of the hand
unless the whole man accompanies it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.
- Henry David Thoreau
I am not only a pacifist but a militant pacifist.
I am willing to fight for peace.
Nothing will end war unless
the people themselves refuse to go to war.
- Albert Einstein
Nothing happens unless first a dream.
- Carl Sandburg
The WAY is Not The Way for You,
Unless You Come With an Open Mind,
Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are not going to be able
to operate our Spaceship Earth
successfully nor for much longer
unless we see it as a whole spaceship
and our fate as common.
It has to be everybody or nobody.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Ever had a bad hair day -
a day when everything seemed to be going wrong?
Perhaps today is a day to soothe your ruffled feathers,
take a deep breath, and reaffirm that
the weight of the world is really not on your shoulders,
unless you choose to assume that burden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never stop dreaming your inspired future.
Believing in your dreams is only the first step,
but unless you have a dream that you believe in,
you are leaving your future to random chance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability,
but comes through continuous struggle.
And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom.
A man can't ride you unless your back is bent.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Often, we get stuck on a question
for which we can't find an acceptable answer.
That is a good time to consider asking a different question.
Every question is based on some assumptions -
usually invisible assumptions that we don't see, unless we go looking.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life repeats itself mindlessly -
unless you become mindful, it will go on repeating like a wheel.
That's why Buddhists call it the wheel of life and death,
the wheel of time.
It moves like a wheel: birth is followed by death,
death is followed by birth;
love is followed by hate, hate is followed by love;
success is followed by failure,
failure is followed by success. Just see!
If you can watch just for a few days,
you will see a pattern emerging, a wheel pattern.
One day, a fine morning, you are feeling so good and so happy,
and another day you are so dull,
so dead that you start thinking of committing suicide.
And just the other day you were so full of life,
so blissful that you were feeling thankful to God,
that you were in a mood of deep gratefulness,
and today there is great complaint
and you don't see the point why one should go on living...
And it goes on and on, but you don't see the pattern.
Once you see the pattern, you can get out of it.
- Osho
Unless we form the habit of going to the Bible
in bright moments as well as in trouble,
we cannot fully respond to its consolations
because we lack equilibrium between light and darkness.
- Helen Keller
If the only prayer you said in your whole life was,
Thank you, that would suffice.
- Meister Eckhart
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
I am a self-centered spoiled-rotten brat,
Thank you for nurturing me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau
Life is a nurturing mother,
when you just remember to say "thank you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I thank Spirit for EVERYTHING
that has brought me to this moment,
and entrust my entire being
to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"Good morning!" he said at last.
"We don't want any adventures here, thank you!
You might try over The Hill or across The Water."
- J. R. R. Tolkien
Thank you, God, for this good life
and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
- Garrison Keillor
Thank you for joining me on this journey we call Life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Know the power of saying, "Thank you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died.
Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
- George S. Patton
I thank you God for this most amazing day,
for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and for the blue dream of sky
and for everything which is natural,
which is infinite, which is yes.
- e. e. cummings
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.