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Let these funny Town Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
This town needs an enema.
- the movie Batman
A man's interest in a single bluebird
is worth more than a complete but dry list
of the fauna and flora of a town.
- Henry David Thoreau
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed
to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers
I didn't want to marry anybody else in town.
I want my baby to look like you.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
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An association of men who will not quarrel with one another
is a thing which has never yet existed,
from the greatest confederacy of nations
down to a town meeting or a vestry.
- Thomas Jefferson
We are all "neighbors."
Our world has gotten too small for us to be anything else.
We can no longer have "us" and "them" - friends and enemies.
A person from Iraq, or Russia, or Columbia is
no more a stranger or enemy than a person from across town.
A few people everywhere are troublemakers.
Every religion provokes a few people to become extremists.
Do we need police around the globe? Unfortunately, we always will.
Do we need war? Does that question even deserve an answer?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Another day, another dollar, another war, another tower
Went up where the homeless had their home.
- Jewel
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
Don't expect me to get excited over
another damn thing we need to find.
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
Credit is a system whereby a person who can't pay
gets another person who can't pay
to guarantee that he can pay.
- Charles Dickens
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
If everyone demanded peace
instead of another television set,
then there'd be peace.
- John Lennon
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)
My joy is the golden sunset
giving thanks for another day.
Gratitude itself is a source of joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You are never too old to set another goal
or to dream a new dream.
- C. S. Lewis
Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis
Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran
Every religion is true one way or another.
It is true when understood metaphorically.
But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors,
interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble.
- Joseph Campbell
Another Sunrise, Another New Beginning.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We must be our own before we can be another's.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The greatest weapon against stress
is our ability to choose one thought over another.
- William James
The shoe that fits one person pinches another;
there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
- Carl Jung
Most of us spend our lives as if
we have another one in the bank.
- Ben Irwin
When ordinary life shackles me,
I escape, one way or another. No more walls.
- Anais Nin
Guilt is only another way of avoiding informed action.
- Audre Lorde
A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor
I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau
I'd rather see the world from another angle
- Jewel
God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
- William Shakespeare
Your informed, "no," to a particular service
allows another to offer their
gifted and unreserved, "yes."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
When we do the best that we can,
we never know what miracle is wrought in our life,
or in the life of another.
- Helen Keller
Reality doesn't impress me.
I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy,
and when ordinary life shackles me,
I escape, one way or another.
No more walls.
- Anais Nin
There are as many pillows of illusion
as flakes in a snow-storm.
We wake from one dream into another dream.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When one door closes, another opens.
But often we look so long, so regretfully,
upon the closed door,
that we fail to see the one that is opened for us.
- Helen Keller
It takes discipline and compassion
to awaken the divine in ourselves long enough
to recognize the divine in another.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement.
But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr
Thy Return is as another Sun to Heaven;
a new Rose blooming in the Garden of the Soul.
- Omar Khayyam
True courage is taking another small step each day
toward achieving your vision.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Through violence, you may 'solve' one problem,
but you sow the seeds for another.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
The man who goes alone can start today;
but he who travels with another
must wait till that other is ready.
- Henry David Thoreau
Books are the greatest gift one person can give another.
- Bono
It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life,
that no man can sincerely try
to help another without helping himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Love is granting another the space to be
the way they are and the way they are not.
- Werner Erhard
There is no goodness in attempting to coerce
another person into performing a good deed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When we get piled upon one another
in large cities, as in Europe,
we shall become as corrupt as Europe.
- Thomas Jefferson
Friends... they cherish one another's hopes.
They are kind to one another's dreams.
- Henry David Thoreau
At times our own light goes out
and is rekindled by a spark from another person.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude
of those who have lighted the flame within us.
- Albert Schweitzer
I believe that every human mind feels pleasure
in doing good to another.
- Thomas Jefferson
That which you hate to be done to you,
do not do to another.
- Ancient Egyptian Proverb
Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
- Oprah Winfrey
Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons
to promote the good and happiness of one another.
- Eustace Budgell
TIME is yet another poisonous construct
of our rattlesnake minds.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth
One way or another, we all have to find
what best fosters the flowering of our humanity
in this contemporary life,
and dedicate ourselves to that.
- Joseph Campbell
Non-violence and truth are inseparable and presuppose one another.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
If the machine of government is of such a nature
that it requires you to be the agent of injustice to another,
then, I say, break the law.
- Henry David Thoreau
If I choose to bless another person,
I will always end up feeling more blessed.
- Marianne Williamson
Nature and human life are as various
as our several constitutions.
Who shall say what prospect life offers to another?
- Henry David Thoreau
Sometimes our light goes out but
is blown into flame by another human being.
Each of us owes deepest thanks
to those who have rekindled this light.
- Albert Schweitzer
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.