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Let these funny Sat Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It had long since come to my attention
that people of accomplishment
rarely sat back and let things happen to them.
They went out and happened to things.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The Moon Cannot Be Stolen:
A thief entered the little hut of a Zen Master,
but discovered there was nothing to steal.
The Zen Master discovered the thief.
"You have come a long way to visit me," he told the prowler,
"and you should not return empty-handed.
Please take my clothes as a gift."
The thief was bewildered,
but he took the clothes and slunk away.
The Zen Master sat naked, watching the moon.
"Poor fellow," he mused,
"I wish I could have given him this beautiful moon."
- Traditional Zen Koan
I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill
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Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau
God doesn't make junk.
- Anonymous
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
- Voltaire
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
God has cared for these trees,
saved them from drought, disease, avalanches,
and a thousand tempests and floods.
But he cannot save them from fools.
- John Muir
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
God is at play,
I am his modeling clay.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott
What does coffee and donuts have to do with God?
- the movie Simon Birch (1998)
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
I tremble for my country when I reflect that God
is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever.
- Thomas Jefferson
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
- John Lennon
Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson
I don't doubt God. I have firm faith absolutely in God.
It's religion I'm doubting.
- Bono
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
I cannot persuade myself that a
beneficent and omnipotent God
would have designedly created parasitic wasps
with the express intention of their feeding
within the living bodies of caterpillars.
- Charles Darwin
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)
Mother is the name for God
in the lips and hearts of little children.
- William Makepeace Thackeray
Talent is God-given; be humble.
Fame is man-given; be thankful.
Conceit is self-given; be careful.
- John Wooden
I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts
When the vast cathedral of our being
becomes a sanctuary for all creation,
we become the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To know God, watch a butterfly return to the same tree -
after a year and a thousand miles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
From the solemn gloom of the temple
children run out to sit in the dust,
God watches them play and forgets the priest.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore
In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln
Each one prays to God according to his own light.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Stupidity is also a gift of God,
but one mustn't misuse it.
- Pope John Paul II
It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17
God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
- William Shakespeare
There are people in the world so hungry,
that God cannot appear to them
except in the form of bread.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch
Heaven means to be one with God.
- Confucius
Each one of us is an outlet to God
and an inlet to God.
- Ernest Holmes
The highest God and the innermost God is one God.
- Ernest Holmes
Stop asking God to bless what you're doing.
Get involved in what God is doing -
because it's already blessed.
- Bono
God has entrusted me with myself.
- Epictetus
When the solution is simple, God is answering.
- Albert Einstein
You don't choose your family.
They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.
- Desmond Tutu
You cannot divorce religious belief and public service.
I've never detected any conflict between
God's will and my political duty.
If you violate one, you violate the other.
- Jimmy Carter
Without music, life would be a mistake...
I would only believe in a God who knew how to dance.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Reading about nature is fine, but if a person
walks in the woods and listens carefully,
he can learn more than what is in books,
for they speak with the voice of God.
- George Washington Carver
Know thyself, and thou shalt know the Universe and God.
- Pythagoras
God's Spirit moves through us and the world
at a pace that can never be constricted
by any one religious paradigm.
I love that.
- Bono
Shine your Light of God wherever you see darkness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You are within God.
God is within you.
- Peace Pilgrim
What you are is God's gift to you:
what you become is your gift to god.
- Anthony Dalla Villa
God is natural - not supernatural.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thank you, God, for this good life
and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
- Garrison Keillor
I do not believe in the God of theology
who rewards good and punishes evil.
- Albert Einstein
God enters by a private door into each individual.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We can stand affliction better than we can prosperity,
for in prosperity we forget God.
- Dwight L. Moody
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.