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Let these funny Sailor Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
He who loves practice without theory
is like the sailor who boards ship
without a rudder and compass
and never knows where he may cast.
- Leonardo da Vinci
God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
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Everybody loves you when you're six foot in the ground.
- John Lennon
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Jealousy is that pain which a man feels
from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved
by the person whom he entirely loves.
- Joseph Addison
The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.
- Robert Anthony
If misery loves company, misery has company enough.
- Henry David Thoreau
Love the heart that hurts you,
but never hurt the heart that loves you.
- Vipin Sharma
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings
Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones,
as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.
- Francois de la Rochefoucauld
The creation of something new
is not accomplished by the intellect
but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity.
The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.
- Carl Jung
Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge,
but he who hates correction is stupid.
- Anonymous
He who wants to do good knocks at the gate:
he who loves finds the door open.
- Rabindranath Tagore
A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend,
one human soul whom we can trust utterly,
who knows the best and worst of us,
and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
- Charles Kingsley
The soul loves to meditate,
for in contact with the Spirit lies its greatest joy.
If, then you experience mental resistance during meditation,
remember that reluctance to meditate comes from the ego;
it doesn't belong to the soul.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
What does coffee and donuts have to do with God?
- the movie Simon Birch (1998)
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
God has cared for these trees,
saved them from drought, disease, avalanches,
and a thousand tempests and floods.
But he cannot save them from fools.
- John Muir
I don't doubt God. I have firm faith absolutely in God.
It's religion I'm doubting.
- Bono
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott
God is at play,
I am his modeling clay.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
God doesn't make junk.
- Anonymous
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I tremble for my country when I reflect that God
is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever.
- Thomas Jefferson
Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson
We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
- John Lennon
If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
- Voltaire
When the vast cathedral of our being
becomes a sanctuary for all creation,
we become the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Talent is God-given; be humble.
Fame is man-given; be thankful.
Conceit is self-given; be careful.
- John Wooden
The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
From the solemn gloom of the temple
children run out to sit in the dust,
God watches them play and forgets the priest.
- Rabindranath Tagore
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)
I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts
Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore
To know God, watch a butterfly return to the same tree -
after a year and a thousand miles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I cannot persuade myself that a
beneficent and omnipotent God
would have designedly created parasitic wasps
with the express intention of their feeding
within the living bodies of caterpillars.
- Charles Darwin
Mother is the name for God
in the lips and hearts of little children.
- William Makepeace Thackeray
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank
Each one prays to God according to his own light.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch
I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau
It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken
Stupidity is also a gift of God,
but one mustn't misuse it.
- Pope John Paul II
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There are people in the world so hungry,
that God cannot appear to them
except in the form of bread.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
- William Shakespeare
Whenever God wakes in us, our thinking
becomes clear - nothing is missing.
- St. Thomas Aquinas
Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families.
- Anonymous
Healing does not mean going back to the way things were before,
but rather allowing what is now to move us closer to God.
- Ram Dass
Know thyself, and thou shalt know the Universe and God.
- Pythagoras
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.