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Let these funny Sailing Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Flying might not be all plain sailing,
but the fun of it is worth the price.
- Amelia Earhart
I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott 
I sail the seas of life as the MASTER of my ship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- widely misattributed to Mark Twain
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Life is a dangerous - ultimately fatal - endeavor,
so you may as well live it full out.
Chart your course, cast off the lines,
and boldly sail the seas of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We must free ourselves of the hope
that the sea will ever rest.
We must learn to sail in high winds.
- Aristotle Onassis
To reach a port, we must sail -
sail, not tie at anchor - sail, not drift.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt quoting Oliver Wendell Holmes
Know that you sail the seas of life
as the master of your own ship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A ship in port is safe,
but that's not what ships are built for.
Sail out to sea and do new things.
- Grace Hopper
If you want to be happy,
put your effort into controlling the sail, not the wind.
- Anonymous
Greatness is not in where we stand,
but in what direction we are moving.
We must sail sometimes with the wind
and sometimes against it -
but sail we must,
and not drift, nor lie at anchor.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
We are tied to the ocean.
And when we go back to the sea,
whether it is to sail or to watch -
we are going back from whence we came.
- John F. Kennedy
Honor your past, and all the consequences of that past.
Receive insight into relieving the pain
caused by past experiences and current attitudes toward life.
Observe life as it currently appears,
and then train yourself to observe life
from other perspectives that support a higher quality of living.
Re-consider your priorities.
Chart your Course.
Set Sail with Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Taking inspiration from the powerful vision of my future,
I boldly set sail with courage and intent.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I Act with Bold Courage -
Taking inspiration from the powerful vision of my future,
I boldly set sail with courage and intent.
I hold my course with focused attention and relentless commitment,
as I weather the storms of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.
- Bertha Calloway (attributed)
Hoist the sails of CHOICE
to harness the winds of JOY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Scuttle the Assumptions, dash the Expectations,
and hoist the sails of CHOICE to harness the winds of JOY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The winds of grace are always blowing;
all we need to do is raise our sails.
- Anonymous
No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars,
or sailed to an uncharted land,
or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.
- Helen Keller
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.