Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


I am not afraid of storms
by Louisa May Alcott

I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott PHOTO

He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak.
Strong convictions precede great actions.
- Louisa May Alcott

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus

It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon

The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates


Thank you for visiting: I am not afraid of storms by Louisa May Alcott.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.