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Let these funny Resolutions Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Have your new year's resolutions been a new beginning for you
or have they just been different words on the same old beginning?
Maybe now's the time to establish
a new pattern of viewing your life fresh.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I made no resolutions for the New Year.
The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning
and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.
- Anais Nin
A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed
is more important than any other one thing.
- Abraham Lincoln
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Nature puts no question and answers none which we mortals ask.
She has long ago taken her resolution.
- Henry David Thoreau
Every day is a good day to make a resolution
for beginning a new way of living,
but the New Year's Day holiday provides a good focus
for reviewing our lives and resolving
to live each day with conscious attention.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot
I was so jazzed about sobering up
and starting a new life;
I had to stop at a bar
to get a drink just to calm down.
- the television series Glee
I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
I'll be out in a minute.
- the Woody Allen movie What's New Pussycat
I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein
Beware of all enterprises that require a new set of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
Another Sunrise, Another New Beginning.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Celebrate endings - for they precede new beginnings.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton
You are never too old to set another goal
or to dream a new dream.
- C. S. Lewis
We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell
Often, the greatest joy is to be found not in new things,
but in old things seen through new eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Try a new perspective on diversity.
Across the country and around the world,
we are all one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Move out of your comfort zone. You can only
grow if you are willing to feel awkward and
uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy
Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.
- Henry David Thoreau
Falling out of love is very enlightening.
For a short while you see the world with new eyes.
- Iris Murdoch
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
- Carl Bard
In order to discover new lands,
one must be willing to lose sight
of the shore for a very long time.
- Anonymous
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn
A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)
Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
- written on the Statue of Liberty in New York harbor
Every generation laughs at the old fashions,
but follows religiously the new.
- Henry David Thoreau
Nay, be a Columbus to whole new
continents and worlds within you,
opening new channels, not of trade, but of thought.
- Henry David Thoreau
A ship in port is safe,
but that's not what ships are built for.
Sail out to sea and do new things.
- Grace Hopper
You cannot discover new oceans unless
you have the courage to lose site of the shore.
- Anonymous
What old people say you cannot do,
you try and find that you can.
Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.
- Henry David Thoreau
Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process,
gradually changing opinions,
slowly eroding old barriers,
quietly building new structures.
- John F. Kennedy
Incite a riot of new ideas.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be a Columbus to whole new continents and worlds within you,
opening new channels, not of trade, but of thought.
- Henry David Thoreau
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body
treats a strange protein; it rejects it.
- Peter Medawar
Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches,
letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights.
- Pauline R. Kezer
In the new economy, information, education,
and motivation are everything.
- William J. Clinton
A person with a new idea is
a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Mark Twain
This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best.
- William Arthur Ward
I can't understand why people
are frightened by new ideas.
I'm frightened of old ones.
- John Cage
Put some distance between yourself
and whatever is concerning you.
Distance in space or time
always creates a new perspective.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have nothing new to teach the world.
Truth and Non-violence are as old as the hills.
All I have done is to try experiments
in both on as vast a scale as I could.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Each friend represents a world in us,
a world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
- Anais Nin
Dying is a wild night and a new road.
- Emily Dickinson
We believe that if men have the talent
to invent new machines that put men out of work,
they have the talent to put those men back to work.
- John F. Kennedy
To raise new questions, new possibilities,
to regard old problems from a new angle,
requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.
- Albert Einstein
Children are natural Zen masters;
their world is brand new in each and every moment.
- John Bradshaw
Where there is an observatory and a telescope,
we expect that any eyes will see new worlds at once.
- Henry David Thoreau
Every generation needs a new revolution.
- Thomas Jefferson
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
- Oprah Winfrey
I say beware of all enterprises that require new clothes,
and not rather a new wearer of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
I am one of those who think like Nobel,
that humanity will draw more good than evil from new discoveries.
- Marie Curie
I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving
for my friends, the old and the new.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Love doesn't just sit there like a stone;
it has to be made,like bread,
remade all the time, made new.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
To kill an error is as good a service as,
and sometimes even better than,
the establishing of a new truth or fact.
- Charles Darwin
The majority of men meet with failure
because of their lack of persistence
in creating new plans to take
the place of those which fail.
- Napoleon Hill
I get bored very easily, ...
I have a voracious appetite and I do not feel alive
if I'm repeating something I'm good at.
So I'm always looking for new challenges.
- Jewel
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.