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Let these funny Preoccupied Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Life cannot be lived fully or joyfully if
our thoughts are focused on regretting the past,
preoccupied with anticipating the future,
or lost in the mind-fog of unconscious habitual behavior.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
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The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow
If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra
I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard
The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov
Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell
Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.