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Funny Past Quotes
Funny Quotes about Past

Let these funny Past Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

What's done is done.
- William Shakespeare

For my part, I consider that it will be found much better
by all parties to leave the past to history,
especially as I propose to write that history myself.
- Winston Churchill

History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

Uh-oh. My past is throwing clods at my future again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson

My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you
before you can move on.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Live life with no regrets and no resentments.
Whatever happened in the past,
forgive yourself and others. Choose love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can't change the past,
but you can ruin the present
by worrying about the future.
- Anonymous

Oh yes, the past can hurt.
But, you can either run from it or, learn from it.
- the movie The Lion King

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
- Oscar Wilde

Forgiveness ... is the finishing of old business
that allows us to experience the present,
free of contamination from the past.
- Joan Borysenko

When someone has a strong intuitive connection,
Buddhism suggests that it's because of karma,
some past connection.
- Richard Gere

"I" is a non-stop storyteller, spinning tales
of the past, the present and the future -
constantly editing, interpreting
and directing this inner movie.
- Josh Baran

Life - for most people - is their past projected large
onto the movie screen of their future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't project your past onto my future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Principal Causes of Our Suffering are
Our Past, and Our Expectations and Assumptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The free world must not prove itself worthy of its own past.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Those who cannot remember the past
are condemned to repeat it.
- George Santayana

The wise man looks back into the past,
and does not grieve over what is far off,
nor rejoice over what is near;
for he knows that time is without end.
- Lao Tzu

Study the past, if you would divine the future.
- Confucius

Forgiveness does not change the past,
but it does enlarge the future.
- Paul Boese

A moral being is one who is capable of reflecting
on his past actions and their motives -
of approving of some and disapproving of others.
- Charles Darwin

Fill your heart with the creative power
to accept the past,
decorate the present
and transform the future.
- Osho

If we open a quarrel between past and present,
we shall find that we have lost the future.
- Winston Churchill

With the past, I have nothing to do;
nor with the future. I live now.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Change is the law of life.
And those who look only to the past or the present
are certain to miss the future.
- John F. Kennedy

Life is a journey. It is not a race to test
who can finish first or who can end up with the most loot.
Rather, life is best enjoyed as a meander -
watching the view to left and right - above and below -
as the days slowly move past in dress review.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The past is prophetic in that it asserts loudly
that wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The lessons of the past provide the path to the future.
- Anonymous

I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Fear not for the future,
weep not for the past.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

For time and the world do not stand still.
Change is the law of life.
And those who look only to the past or the present
are certain to miss the future.
- John F. Kennedy

Training yourself to live in the present -
without regretting the past or fearing the future -
is a recipe for a happy life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't let the past drive life - choose life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A friend is someone who understands my past,
believes in my future,
and accepts me just the way I am.
- Anonymous

As in geology, so in social institutions,
we may discover the causes of all past changes
in the present invariable order of society.
- Henry David Thoreau

Inner peace can be reached
only when we practice forgiveness ...
letting go of the past,
and correcting our misperceptions.
- Gerald Jampolsky

I recognize that the person I was in my past
is not the person I am today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The past does not equal the future.
- Anthony Robbins

Do not dwell in the past,
do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.
- The Buddha

The distinction between the past, present and future
is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.
- Albert Einstein

The "stories" we choose to tell about our past
are never what a video camera would have recorded.
We can tell a sad story or a happy story,
and neither story is either
more accurate or "better" than the other story.
The difference is that one story causes us to suffer,
while the other brings us joy. I choose joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Like a bird in flight, your life can soar
above the troubles of the world.
Breathe deep, choose, and break the shackles of your past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I create a new and more loving story
to surround each event in my past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino

I choose not to project my past onto my future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is the future, not the past.
- Terry Goodkind

Who controls the past controls the future.
Who controls the present controls the past.
- George Orwell

RESPONSIBILITY: Fulfill the obligations that the past posts to me.
Embrace the opportunity for service based in love.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Create your future from your future not your past.
- Werner Erhard

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.
- Thomas Jefferson

Drive into your future looking at the open road ahead
rather than into the rear-view mirror of your past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Gain happiness by living in the present -
without regret for the past or fear of the future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life cannot be lived fully or joyfully if
our thoughts are focused on regretting the past,
preoccupied with anticipating the future,
or lost in the mind-fog of unconscious habitual behavior.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The secret of health for both mind and body
is not to mourn for the past,
nor to worry about the future,
but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.
- The Buddha

Whatever happened in the past,
forgive yourself and others.
Choose love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Prepare for the unknown by studying how others in the past
have coped with the unforeseeable and the unpredictable.
- George S. Patton

The past has no power over the present moment.
- Eckhart Tolle

He who spends time regretting the past,
loses the present and risks the future.
- Quevedo

There is a great future in front of you,
you can leave your past behind.
- Joel Osteen

Honor your past, and all the consequences of that past.
Receive insight into relieving the pain
caused by past experiences and current attitudes toward life.
Observe life as it currently appears,
and then train yourself to observe life
from other perspectives that support a higher quality of living.
Re-consider your priorities.
Chart your Course.
Set Sail with Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste
that they hurry past it.
- Soren Kierkegaard

In Iroquois society, leaders are encouraged to
remember seven generations in the past and
consider seven generations in the future
when making decisions that affect the people.
- Wilma Mankiller

The heart knows nothing of the past,
nothing of the future;
it knows only of the present.
- Osho

The future has nothing in common with the past -
except natural laws and human nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You change the past when you change the way you see it.
- Alan Cohen

History is a relentless master.
It has no present, only the past rushing into the future.
To try to hold fast is to be swept aside.
- John F. Kennedy

Liar is a strong word, but we are all liars.
Not in the sense of intentionally speaking untruths,
but in the sense of carrying so much historical
and emotional baggage that none of us is believable.
To lie means to speak an untruth,
and virtually everything that comes out of our mouth
is an untruth - an opinion, an assumption,
a point-of-view based on our past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"Beginner Mind" is a Zen Buddhist term
that describes moving past our assumptions
of the nature of our life,
and really SEEING our surroundings -
especially the people we interact with -
with new eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We cannot change our past.
We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have,
and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me
and 90% how I react to it.
- Charles R. Swindoll


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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